its been a trillion years since i last heard from u.. i dun tink i'll ever hear from u.. ur way too happy leadin ur new life.. no one in the right mind would want to go back to a horrid.. oh well im still there.. stuck in the middle of my happiness..

life has been a piece of shit for me.. i've got nth to look forward to except for my ord date.. i have no outings.. no more movies.. no more shopping partner.. no more anything.. i truly have died.. now i go ard alone.. cut hair.. watch movie.. go shopping.. all alone.. take long train rides.. enduring myself as i look at other couple.. kissing.. hugging.. most importantly.. smiling in each other company..

been a long time since i smiled.. truly smiled with no pain in this heart of mine.. almost every one ive met in camp been askin me whether i ok or not.. every reply is the same.. a toothless smile and quick walk away..

seems like every where n every thing i do brings back painful memories.. bk out.. go cine.. pain.. go taka.. pain.. go east coast.. fuckin pain.. anywhere.. wearing anything.. haiz..

u should be happy now.. a new lease on life.. gd frens.. a new bf.. go holiday.. wow.. u really having the time of ur life.. really makes me wonder when u said u care.. even as a fren.. does makin me feel n suffer like how u suffered with ur ex's showing me how much u cared?? hmm.. i really wonder..

oh well who am i rite.. im just an immature 21 yr old.. who's too young to be with u.. to understand u.. to ever be on par with u.. to ever marry u.. to watever.. i was once told.. relationship work out not becoz they just do or the people are compatible.. they work becoz we want it to work.. we make it work..

u certainly were quick to take the opportunity.. to just run away.. instead of makin things work.. i know u as givin up at the first instance.. but i din tink u would have done it to me.. haiz..

i hate talkin bout u.. to anyone la.. i always get teary-eyed when i do.. shit la.. im not angry.. im more hurt n sad than anything.. oh well wat can i do kan??

shits man... get a control of uself!!!!!!!

haiz.. i hope i'll be happy soon.. be my old crackin.. smiling self.. i miss my old self.. i miss fifi.. i miss my bros.. i miss just being myself.. it just sucks to be here rite now.. even sch sucks.. argh.. im sick.. im not in gd shape.. im unhealthy.. unfit.. non-combat.. life really suck.. march and april 2008 has gone down as the worst mths in my life.. ever..

im alone.. i died..