mayang49

hmm..

2009-01-13T22:32:00.003+08:00

i trully n utterly believe..
that some ppl..
shouldnt have frens..

well this has gone long enough..
i nd a change..
a breath of fresh air..
i nd a..
chase..

ooo

2008-12-27T00:02:00.004+08:00

ooo..
first post since eons ago..
k..
keep it short..

u should make a plan.. i said..
came up with this..

A.
no more partying till jan or whenever..
control boy..
control..

B.
studies first..
no complete assignment..
no enjoys..

C.
no money..
go n work!
simple.

D.
no party + always study =
family happy..
ahh all happy..

E. (MOST IMPORTANTLY)
stop chasing her..
not worth it..
she dun like u..
not that she dun like..
she like.. (i hope)
but as a fren.. (hope with all my heart)
remember boy..
its better to lose a gf than to lose a best fren..
look at FIFI for example..
she's ur best fren..
ahh.. but..
no buts..
unless she says so.. (pls say so! *makes bugsy's eyes at her*)
if not..
she'll nvr see u in that light..
oh well..
enjoy her company la..
enjoy right everytime go out with her..
especially on eve rite? drooldrooldrool.
no need gf..
dun tink of her as gf..
but its just for the time being though..
coz once she's snapped up..
too bad boy..
ur should be a distant memory..
just like the others..
8(
oh well just be there for her then..
a shoulder to cry on..
sumone to lean on..
till her Mr. Right comes along..
damn..
ok boy?

n for u.
if i said i missed u. u would say. as a fren. u missed me too.
if i said i like u. yes. when i first saw ur unbraced smile.
if i said i love u. i would be wrong. n u would be gone.
but if i said.
u are potentially heartbreakingly not my girl.
i would be right.
u my dear.
pretty cute n adorable that u are.
are a great fren.
no matter how bad i feel saying that word fren.
should forever remain that.
the end.

in my heart. a place. n its all for u.

k.
planned.
trying to keep up now.
starting with E first.
ooo so hard.

to move on...

2008-04-24T03:41:00.000+08:00

its 3 in the morning... wow.. wat a dull life.. things have really slowed down.. ive hand over my appt.. ive done alot of paperwork.. all i need is to clear my stuff.. haiz.. im a free man soon.. im as sad as i hate the sound of that..

wat is moving on??.. is it getting another girl??.. is it fallin in love again??.. mind you these are 2 diff things.. one guy old me to just forget bout it n to just have fun.. get another girl.. many fishes in the sea.. well.. i know that.. im reminded of that everyday.. but if i only like that one fish.. that one fish who apparantly doesnt eat fish n all of the fishy frens.. well how does that go??..

there so many diff n diverse meanings to the word "move on"..ok.. so when do i know that ive moved on??..when ive gotten another girl??.. fallen in love again??.. when??.. i realise that i din move on after xiu.. i just thru her aside at the back of my mind.. when i was with u.. i kept comparin her n u.. thats wrong.. well i can safely say i dun love her anymore.. but i cant really say that for u.. is "moved on" mean to not feel the pain in my chest anymore??.. to not cry again?? just like when i smell the whisk of ur perfume on the streets??.. when i feel ur there.. but ur not??.. i just have no effects to all these??.. well all i can say is this..

ive definately not moved on.. thats for sure.. i keep tinkin of u day n night.. wondering.. maybe she's at work.. or out shopping.. or out clubbing??.. or.. out dating??.. thats the worst.. den it starts all over again.. i found the thru meaning of "moved on" in a book i was readin yst.. yes i do read my dear.. alot has changed.. i see things in diff perspective now.. ways which u saw it.. i just wished we can see it together now...

".. to move on is not to get caught up in the love net. no. to move on simply means, to love the past and honour the past, to live in the present but to remember the past, to remeber the pain and to learn from it, to better urself from it, not to live in it. i love rose(thats the character name), but she is gone, neever to return again. i will continue loving her."

see i like that few phrases.. but the prob is with the last phrase.. i cant continue loving u can i??.. haiz.. i just wish u would drop me a msg one day.. say hi.. sumtimes i dial ur num.. but press "cancel" instead of "call".. i miss u alot.. i miss ur smile the most.. ur cracky laughter.. the way ur hips sway as u walk.. the way u tuck into my side as we walk ard town.. the way ur hand fits perfectly into mine.. the way ur head rest perfectly on my chest, when we are both standing up, admiring each others' presence.. memories sure do last a lifetime.. n with u i made a lifetime full of memories.. perfect was the word.. too bad im too imature.. i still blame myself for this failure of a realtionship.. i still do.. when i dont.. means ive moved on..

ive died hafizah.. ive died without u.. instead of dying with u..

love.

oblivious pain..

2008-04-18T03:47:00.002+08:00

life seems to be going slower n slower for me.. the minutes in the day seems to have multiplied ten fold.. i spent days sleeping.. night wondering.. ending my night with teary thoughts.. i dun think life can be any less painful than right now.. im really as pathetic as u think i am.. i have no income.. no savings.. no future.. no direction.. i have no life.. im waitin to ord.. but once i do.. i'll become a loser who has no job.. no pay.. no anything.. haiz.. i feel sad to leave the army.. ive made plenty of frens.. i've established myself as sumone useful.. but heck.. there always sumone better to take my job.. just like in the case of me being ur bf.. he's surely better..

i cant stop this feelin.. im just amazed at how it was easy for u.. sumtimes makes me think that through out the 13 mths were the feelings really true?.. was the first kiss really seep through to ur heart?.. the first embrace linger in ur memory??.. 13 mths sure aint long.. but its long enough to see a change in people.. ive tried so hard to keep tellin myself.. that its ok.. but deep inside.. im only fooling myself.. all i wanted was a second chance.. i really dun tink it can go any worst.. well maybe on my part.. ok ok.. i know.. its a lost caused rite??.. ur probably snuggling up to him sumwhere.. enjoying ur new found happiness..

now wat shall i do.. im lost.. i really am.. y couldn't we just try again.. y u hurriedly ran away.. i really tink we can go any worst.. haiz.. its all too late by now.. must be fun in bangkok.. and perth.. haiz.. im such a loser.. ur ex bf is a loser.. u should be ashamed that ur standards went down horribly low.. u deserved better.. he's definately better coz signs are definately showing ur not, hmm.. maybe i shall used the word never.., never coming back near me..

i really till today dun tink age matters.. maybe im not tinkin of the future that much.. but u shouldnt too.. hey its ok to tink.. but not obsessively.. i know u wanna marry.. im just saying wait.. hey.. im going thru ns.. im naive.. im young.. im... a dumbass for trying again n again in every paragraph to try to win u back.. i really shuld give up.. i still love you.. i still do.. i almost celebrated our anniversary a couple days back.. yup im delirious..

my heart aches.. which i shouldn't.. i still dun get y i cant get a second chance.. i'll never see the difference between us.. u say ur stubborn.. wow.. we do have sumthing in common.. see i told u we do have things in common.. maybe u can be my imaginary gf.. the blog shall be u.. n when i blog to MY blog.. its like talkin to u.. ok ok.. stupid crazy n dumb.. im hopeless.. im still lovin the girl that i wanted to break up with.. how lame is that.. theres nvr a minute where ur not in my head.. the never a day that i dun recall ur smile.. theres never a time where i dun tink of u.. *slap to back of own self head* she's gone!! stop trying to win her back! *slap again*

see its hard.. i really love u huh.. i sumtimes wanna msg u.. ask u where u are.. how u doing.. say sweet nths.. i miss all that.. i miss all of u.. damn im lonely n pathetic.. when i do move on(hopefully i will soon).. i'll look back at this post n will definately regret being this dumbfuck thats overtaken me..

hey point of the matter is.. i still love u.. n i dunno how.. but im a try to move on while still lovin u??.. i dunno how that sounds like but i tink.. i really tink.. i wont work.. i'll be back at the saem place tom.. cryin.. wishin.. wantin u to come back.. i'll apolagise for the trillion time.. i'll say i love u for the countless time.. i do watever u want.. i really will.. but i'll never let u go so soon.. i rather die now.. i really feel like it.. u have no idea..

i love u.. hafizah bte abdul rahman.. sadly.. i still do..

"she was gone and never to come back. that was the reality. i would never again run my fingers through her soft hair, never share a secret joke across the table during dinner, never cry to her when i got home from a hard day at work and just needed a hug, i would never share a bed with her again, never be woken up by her pretty smile every morning, never laugh with her so much that my stomach hurts, never fight bout who pays for the movies. all that was a bundle of memories, and an image of her face that became more and more vague every single day. i miss u my dear. i really do.."

no air.. no air..

2008-04-09T23:15:00.003+08:00

its been a trillion years since i last heard from u.. i dun tink i'll ever hear from u.. ur way too happy leadin ur new life.. no one in the right mind would want to go back to a horrid.. oh well im still there.. stuck in the middle of my happiness..

life has been a piece of shit for me.. i've got nth to look forward to except for my ord date.. i have no outings.. no more movies.. no more shopping partner.. no more anything.. i truly have died.. now i go ard alone.. cut hair.. watch movie.. go shopping.. all alone.. take long train rides.. enduring myself as i look at other couple.. kissing.. hugging.. most importantly.. smiling in each other company..

been a long time since i smiled.. truly smiled with no pain in this heart of mine.. almost every one ive met in camp been askin me whether i ok or not.. every reply is the same.. a toothless smile and quick walk away..

seems like every where n every thing i do brings back painful memories.. bk out.. go cine.. pain.. go taka.. pain.. go east coast.. fuckin pain.. anywhere.. wearing anything.. haiz..

u should be happy now.. a new lease on life.. gd frens.. a new bf.. go holiday.. wow.. u really having the time of ur life.. really makes me wonder when u said u care.. even as a fren.. does makin me feel n suffer like how u suffered with ur ex's showing me how much u cared?? hmm.. i really wonder..

oh well who am i rite.. im just an immature 21 yr old.. who's too young to be with u.. to understand u.. to ever be on par with u.. to ever marry u.. to watever.. i was once told.. relationship work out not becoz they just do or the people are compatible.. they work becoz we want it to work.. we make it work..

u certainly were quick to take the opportunity.. to just run away.. instead of makin things work.. i know u as givin up at the first instance.. but i din tink u would have done it to me.. haiz..

i hate talkin bout u.. to anyone la.. i always get teary-eyed when i do.. shit la.. im not angry.. im more hurt n sad than anything.. oh well wat can i do kan??

shits man... get a control of uself!!!!!!!

haiz.. i hope i'll be happy soon.. be my old crackin.. smiling self.. i miss my old self.. i miss fifi.. i miss my bros.. i miss just being myself.. it just sucks to be here rite now.. even sch sucks.. argh.. im sick.. im not in gd shape.. im unhealthy.. unfit.. non-combat.. life really suck.. march and april 2008 has gone down as the worst mths in my life.. ever..

im alone.. i died..

headache..

2008-04-06T00:00:00.002+08:00

my head hurts.. only one reason y.. i had a major hangover this morn.. real bad.. vomited twice so far.. shouldnt have drank.. i drank too much for a first timer..

haiz.. so much frustration in my head.. i dunno who i am anymore.. wat im doing.. i just wanna lie n die.. i want her.. what should i do?? should i wait?.. what can i do? its all up to her.. deep inside her.. wat does she really feel... i'll do anything to have her again.. ive learnt so much in the past yr.. i want to learnt more..

haiz.. pls fiza.. pls.. i love u....

i died..

2008-04-05T13:48:00.007+08:00

i lost her.. i dun tink she's coming back again.. she's happier now.. without me.. haiz.. i love u.. i still do.. pls come back.. haiz.. i died...

even though we always were unhappy.. only with you was i really happy.. at bintan.. all ur patience.. u always endured watever i did.. im so grateful for that.. pls dun say uve moved on.. i really love u.. n i really care for u.. i really nd u.. i know i was harsh.. but im sorry.. i promise i will change.. i dun want u to tink im makin empty promises.. but i really will.. pls.. come back.. i cant live a day without just tinkin of u.. i cry every night in bed alone.. i really nd u.. i wanna be with u.. i dun care wat other ppl tink.. i will do all my best for u.. pls see that.. i know u nd ur break.. n im fine with that.. but i dun want u to forget me.. i just cant live to see myself not with u.. tears are rollin down my cheek as i type this now.. im not askin for it now.. nor do i think in the nxt mth.. but at least.. at sum point.. myabe in july.. when its ur bdae..i wanna be there for u.. when ur happy or ur sad.. im really sorry.. pls give me a second chance.. pls..

i died..

im...

2008-04-03T01:52:00.005+08:00

im nuthing.. ive lost everything.. ive lost the bond i had so dear.. i lost a feelin of compassion..

its 2am now.. ive sat the whole nite.. crying.. readin a blog.. im speechless.. i dun wanna live...

the most painful part is.. im the one who initiate the break up.. but.. im still greiving.. this sucks.. n uve moved on??.. haiz.. fine... i deserved wat i deserved.. if u wanna know.. i still love u.. im too sad to tink of anything.. gd bye my love..

i love you..

2008-04-02T17:00:00.002+08:00

Do I remind you of the pain
That he put you through, girl?
Is that the reason I'm to blame?
Before I do it, is it because he treated you badly?
I always stand accused? Mmmm
Protecting yourself from somebody else
I'm not who's hurting you!

Girl and it's killing me girl knowing you compare me to him!
Always guilty before the sin
I can't win, I can't win NO!
I'll do anything to prove I love you
Baby girl but I refuse to pay for something I didn't do?
I love you girl!
But I refuse to stay paying for his mistakes.

Yeah Oh Yeah Yeah

He left a scar across your heart
I understand girl
Don't let his wrongs,
Tear us apart,No
Girl I'm your man!
Just because he did you swear I'm cheating?
You think I just don't care?
What must I do die For another misery?

Girl you know that ain't fair No No

And it's killing me girl knowing you compare me to him!
Always guilty before the sin
I can't win,No I can't win!
I'll do anything to prove I love you
Baby girl but I refuse to pay for something I didn't do?
I love you girl!
But I refuse to stay...
Paying for his mistakes.

I know he did you wrong
But tell me what does that have to do with me?
Trying to show you something real!
Figure out what is going on
Before you look up and I'll be gone

Yey....Ohh Ohh Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm Mmmmm
Mmmm No No Heyeyyy Heyiyeh OH

I'll do anything to proove I love you
Baby girl but I refuse
To pay for something I didn't do
Girl,I love you and I love you I love you
I'll do anything to prove I love you Baby girl
But I refuse to pay for something I didn't do
No
I love you Girl
But I refuse to stay paying for his mistakes

hmm..

2008-03-30T16:52:00.002+08:00

i have deep sickening feeling.. a very strong one too.. that even though u keep saying.. u dun have time for another guy.. or to meet another guy.. it seems like there maybe sumone else there which im not aware of.. by the way this break up has been going on.. it seems that u are taking it kinda easy.. well i expeccted u to.. but i din know it would be this easy.. i knew u wont like say no when i ask for a break up.. i kinda had a gut feeling bout that.. u appeared like " its ok.. gd for me.. sad for u.."..

hmm.. maybe im just dumb enough to not see this.. but i tink u are really wat all my frens have been saying.. ur a waste of time.. not just anybody's time.. but my time.. to tell u the truth.. out of 10 ppl who i had to go to, to talk bout our relationship n probs.. like u going to ur 2nd bf ah. only i got alot of ppl who are willing to help me.. all seems to say the same thing.. i din really believe them till now..

im really blind huh??.. see like today.. u are out with ur frens.. hmm.. i havent been out to town or anything since we broke up.. every night i keep tinkin of u.. regretin wat ive done.. i tink i just made a big mistake.. i dun tink u do the same for me.. yeah.. u rarely would msg me.. i tink only once msg me gd morn.. that was all.. hmm.. its all surfacing now huh??.. im sorry if this post hurts ur feeling.. but the truth hurts..

thats y i wanna ask u this.. im gonna bk in to camp tonite.. i dun tink ur gonna call me.. so yeah.. just leave it at that.. i wanna ask u to be truthful to me.. is there sumone else? i already gave up on the chase like i said.. but i just gotta know the truth.. are u happier?? do u smile more??.. coz if u do.. i tink it would make this recuperation period way easier..

u give up.. i give up.. u will just be another statistic in my life.. just like how i am in ur life.. but we both know.. that my stats are better.. well u now y.. now not the time to talk bout ur past life.. im gonna be sad n watever losing a girl like u.. but at least i did try to save watever of a relationship we had.. its time for a new girl.. just like my dear fren shikin said.. haha.. my uni dating plan.. k la.. its all up to u now.. im waiting for ur reply.. pls dun take ur time.. its a simple question to ask ur own heart.. hey i can be wrong.. i dun mind.. i dunno y i like to hurt my self.. maybe i jst really love u alot.. i nvr broke up with a girl either.. so yeah.. u know how much u mean to me.. enough said.. i gave up.. i just want answers now.. for my future relationship..

hi..

2008-03-29T14:43:00.005+08:00

the reason y i send the message earlier in the morn.. is coz.. i still love u.. am is still tryin to be with u.. alot has happen.. but it seems like u dun really want me there.. u rather stay ssafe.. i understand.. its not worth to get hurt rite??.. well i i dun want to.. so yeah.. im just gonna do my thing.. n let u do ur thing.. all i care is thet ur happy.. n safe.. n be the person who u truly are.. u know i'll definately be ok.. i still got alot to go for.. could be headin up to london in 2 yrs time too..

so yeah... i got alot to do.. i hope u dun look at our relationship and think bad of it la.. it had its learning points too.. alot of gd points.. im tryin to leave spore also.. first is london to study.. den see how la.. see wats the thing i really want..

u can call me if u like.. i kinda expect u to do it.. but so far.. i havent received any.. i dun blame u.. maybe u nd time.. but hey.. wat do i know.. oh well.. im gonna go now.. see wat to do... my wkends suck nowadays.. maybe i bk in ah.. ciao!

yeah 1 more thing.. take care in bangkok... like norm ah.. u know i wont approve of these kind of things.. but hey.. ur a free girl.. wat can i say.. all i can is.. its very dangerous nowadays there.. my fren got her rm broken into n her baggage n things stolen.. so yeah.. tc..

hmm..

2008-03-24T12:37:00.001+08:00

im torn apart.. i still feel for u.. i keep wondering when u would msg me again.. i still loe u.. i still do.. oh wat have i done?..

hey..

2008-03-23T22:51:00.002+08:00

been a long times since ive updated huh? well im only updating coz u updated.. this is what i have to say...

u shouldnt be sad.. u shouldnt cry.. i loved u all the way... i nvr wanted to give up on u.. u were the best, n sadly the worst ive ever had.. i understand ur situation.. im not the best in the world either... u were the most caring.. most enduring.. most soft-hearted of the lot... ive abused it a couple of times.. i haved to say... im sorry.. i really din want it to end.. im as sad as u are..

if u wanted to know.. i kept checkin my fone today.. im quite lost without u.. im so used to ur ever forgivefulness.. but hey.. i guess im not in any state in receive any of it huh?.. oh well..

but i must say.. every gd thing has it bad side too.. well u should know wat they are.. sth u should do a couple things differently.. i dun mind talkin to u.. but u gotta think.. u always get carried away.. u get excited bout the wrong stuff.. n forget the objective.. i really cant tolerate that.. maybe one.. or twice.. but not every time.. i tried my best to help u.. to do everythign u wanted me to.. but i got my wants n nds..

i already give in.. drop my expections.. ive done alot.. so have u.. but im sorry.. i know no apology is ever enough.. but hey.. i try.. hope u wont have any hard feelings.. i dun mind being ur friend if u wish me to.. i wish u all the best in the future.. may u find as much happiness as u can.. maybe with sumbody new.. but i must say.. for the first time in my life.. i dun rule out a second run-in.. well thats all for Him to say.. if He bings u to it.. He'll bring u thru it... tc k..

fuckin disappointed..

2007-08-06T14:41:00.000+08:00

fuck sia..
im sick for 5 days..
n not even 1 visit?..
what shit is this??
u say u aint got time?..
fuck man..
is it that hard??
1 before work on fri??..
1 maybe after work on mon??..
cant huh??
ur a disappointment..
i expected more from u..
total disarray of emotions..
this is shits man.
this is way against watever u said to me at the start of the whole thing..
waste of time ah..
fuck shit..

k..

2007-03-23T02:08:00.002+08:00

i know ah..
i know u try ah..
fuckin hell..
as if im not tryin also..
blardy shit..
when the sun is down..
i may not my best self ah..
but when the sun is up ah..
fuckin hell..
i tink i've been tryin my ass off..
just to repay for the nights ah..
im not calculating ah..
but what the fuck did i do..
ive done some wrong..
i admit ah..
but issit an apology enough??
wat the fuck am i supposed to do then??
blardy shit..
do i have to physically go down on my fuckin knees or sth?
fuckin shit..
knn..
totally wrong day to begin with..
fuckes up..

arite..

2007-03-18T19:15:00.001+08:00

wah..
seeems like ive been updatin everywk huh??..
yeah..
now life has a lil bit more excitement ah..
hahaha..
all of u all know bout me n mi amor..
oh well..
nth new ah..
i love her..

anyways..
been a long wk..

met her on mon i tink..
went for dinner at earl swensons..
nice..
ate crabfish & salmon tomato spag..
very gd place..
nice ambience..
wonderful scenery..
perfect ah..
took very nice pics..
yeah..
got this one which i really love..
1 in a million..

nice rite..
well see who's the photographer la..
hahaha..
anyways..
its nice to spend time with her..
get to know her more each day..
everyday is a learning day..
sth new for the both of us..
i hope this last yeah..
perfecto..

met her again yst..
watch stomp of the yard..
power sia..
if only i could move like them..
damn..
the girls were hot..
the moves were slick..
cool movie ah..
we sat in the 1st row ah..
sadly..
all becoz of me ah..
stoopid atm card..
so sorry for that baby..

after that went to esplanade..
chill out there..
its so god-damningly awesome to spend time with her..
only the 2 of us..
cuddled up..
keepin each other warm..
yeah..
its a dream..
she's a dream..
we arrived at ard 230..
we left at 430..
hahaha..
lovebirds..
cant let go off each other..
like north pole meetin the south..
well..
i loved every second of it..
i cant wait to see her again..

gotta bk in tonite..
now a commander..
kinda cool..
i hope i can just tahan a yr there..
den im off..
get my pink ic back..
woooo..
orgasmic i tell u..
hahaha...
i miss being a civilian..
haiz..
15 more mths..the countdown began the day i gave up my pink ic..
for my 11b..
oh well..
till that day arrives..
im gonna have fun yeah..
aite till nxt time..
ciaos..

You ain't got ta look like a model for me to adore you
All you gotta do is love me and be loyal
Don't indulge in my past, fuck what happened before you
Cause to me some bunny's gon' hate you that never saw you
C'mere, let me touch on you, I let you touch on me
Put my tongue on you, you put your tongue on me
Let me ride on you and you can ride on
We can do it all the night, we can have a baller night

I wanna get to know ya
I really wanna thug you, baby
One dose of your lovin
I know it gon' drive me, crazy
I wanna be your lover
I wanna get to know you, baby
One dose of my lovin
I know it gon' drive you, crazy

wokiez..

2007-03-11T18:25:00.000+08:00

been a very long wk..
actually this is my worst wk so far..
ever since i entered ns sia..
nvr have i suffered so much..
mentally..
physically..
emotionally..
all of them took a long-awaited hit at me..
i've been happy so far..
so its due time to be shot down i guess..
oh well..
life is full of this..
ups as high as the twinkling stars in the sky..
downs as low as the core of the earth we step upon everyday..
haiz..
tough huh??
oh well..
just gotta shrug it off..
n carry on..
nothing else i can do rite??..

ivr been posted to cougar company of bmtc sch 1..
haiz..
so sad..
such a horrible coy..
1 yr of hell it seems..
my bunk sucks..
the ppl posted there also sucks..
i hate to book in tonite..
now i deeply regret rejecting the chance to stay in sispec..
i could be a spec there n train future commanders..
my life is everything about regrets..
no suprise huh??..
enough bout this la..
i dun wanna talk bout it..
more i tink about it..
more i hate it..
n more my feelings change..

went out with her the past 2 days..
fri nite went to club..
i had a wonderful time dancing with her..
i hope she did..
too bad her cam din want to take my pic..
silly girl..
bring cam..
but nvr charge..
oh well..
misakes happen..
on sat went out to town..
din really wanna shop..
but ended up buying a bag n a cardigan..
nice..
i like them alot..
she did too..
she chose the bag actually..
nice taste..
cute huh..
i chose her's the the wk before..
she chose mine this wk..
yeah..
one in a milion..
den after that met up with mafiadon adam n skinnyboy shariff..
lepak at taka..
den headed to suntec to catch a movie..
300..
great movie..
full of fights..
make me feel so demoraled to be a man..
if only i had their body..
power sia..
nice big arms..
huge chests..
toned 6-packs..
foooooo..
hot stuff sak..
oh well..
im not like that..
so cant say anything la..
can only dream..
after movie..
all went saperate ways..
she couldnt bear to leave me..
she so sweet..
i couldnt leave u too la..
i hate being in the army..
i want to ord tom sia..
haiz..
i told u my life sucks..
ok..
till another time..
ciaos..

u only can.. smile.. nth else..

Whenever I'm not around,
and you feelin down
Let the thought of me be
(I be the reason you smile)
I don't wanna see you frown,
like them kids watch a clown
I wanna bring you joy and be
(I be the reason you smile)
Baby, you know my style,
you know how I get down
I provide by any means to be
(I be the reason you smile)
We done been through ups and downs,
had drama for a while
I'm just happy I'm around to be
(I be the reason you smile)

haiz..

2007-02-28T20:07:00.000+08:00

damn..
such a hard time..
time is nvr on my side..
how i wish i was older..
how i was i can turn back time..
how i wish time would just stand still sum times..
i just dunno wat to do..

im so tryin my best..
i dun wanna fall into the gaping hole..
even though the lure is so great..
even when i know that im already 1 foot in..
i wanna hold back..
im sure u do too..
its hard i know..
but its has to be done..
this is some crazy shit here..
cant let the history be another page of ur reality..
must stop that now..
if this continues..
its either the most happiest ending in this fairytale...
or its the most horribly sad n heart breakin nightmare imaginable..

i dun want to be that fool again..
i dun want to put in my 2 feet into the room..
but then let the door smack me rite in the face..
sendin out again into the vast wilderness of heart aches n lonesomeness..
but i just cant help it..
its kills me to see u like that..
n i wanna help u..
on the other hand..
im going head on..
full speed..
headin towards a brick wall..
i dun want that..

haiz..
its so tiring for me to feel like this..
i know this may hurt u a lil..
but i just dunno wat else to say..
or to do..
i am tryin my best..
but it seems that i might be heading for..
another trip down into the shallows of my life..
or am i..??

this sucks..

2007-02-25T03:01:00.000+08:00

by the beautiful beach...

the mayan..

the ufo..

i walk a lonely road..

rockstar supernova!

i dunno..

2007-02-24T00:29:00.000+08:00

i dunno wat to do..
kinda stress..
eeeeee...
i know my feelings..
but i dun want it to be an infactuation only..
happened once..
i dun want it to happen again..
its sucks if it happens again..
haiz..
i keep tellin myself..
dun be stoopid..
just chill..
only time will tell..
but there's this this part of me..
the stubborn part..
which just believe that the time has come..
seriously..
i dun want to make the same mistake again..
n lose such a wonderful person..
haiz..
i dunno wat to do..

she's like the wind..
exactly like the song..
she's outta my league..
im scared of what might be..
im scared of everything..
argh..
this hurts alot..
haiz..
i hope time flies faster..
coz i cant wait to find out..
shes keepin me on the edge of my seat..

argh..
clueless..
8(

back from taiwan...

2007-02-20T12:21:00.000+08:00

okiez..
im back from the beautiful island of taiwan..
where the weather is awesome..
the girls are gorgeous..
haha..
the shopping is crazy..
shopping heaven sia..
i dunno wat will happen if i go to hongkong sia..

k training was ok la..
cant talk much bout it..
hush hush u know..
oh well..
all i know..
i completed it..
almost killin myself at it..
but it was an great experience..

i'll just talk bout the rnr je la..
we went to tons of theme parks..
took alot of rolar coster..
but only 2 were ball bustin la..
the UFO n the mayan adventure at the first theme park we went..
haha..
i saw adam's face on the ufo..
scared like shit..
too bad no pic la..
anyway. .
the food was exquisite..
i ate seafood all 4 days..
power..
i got fat..
but still power..
hahaha..
the shopping is like i said..
crazy..
i spent more than 600 sing sia there..
shoes..
pants..
shirts..
gifts..
foo..
alot i tell u..
ahahha..

k once back in spore..
back to sispec..
grad parade rehearsal..
i was my contingent commander..
not that big of a appointment..
but hey i was the 2nd man behind the parade commander..
pride n honour u know..
reveived my 3 stripes bout a wk ago..
yey now my turn to wack the bloody recruits..
i dunno if they'll like me or not..
my frens already say my men will die under me..
hahah..
rabaks sak..
anyway im posted to the island of many sergents dreams..
unfortunately..
its not my dream to go back there la..
i would have prefered to go to unit..
6 sir perhaps..
or stay in sispec..
well..
sispec coz im closer to her la..
hahaha..
okiez..
shall not dwell on that..
me secretos..

oh well..
sumtimes u cant always get wat u want right..
just be thankful i guess..
okiez..
im waitin for the pics to be sent to me..
once i get them i shall upload..
k byez..

aites..

2007-01-13T19:48:00.001+08:00

been a long time since i update..
nobody go my blog also..
but i dun mind..
still gonna update..

k still in ns..
still in sispec..
now a cpl..
passin out in 4 wks time..
k here comes the best part..
im leavin for taiwan this fri..
whahahah
so happy..
ok la.. got some perks la ns..
but still gotta train there before can enjoy there la..
oh well..
other than that its still the same old me..
i bought a new fone..
the w950i..
power..
cost me 950 also..
a gd investment ah..
k la..
till after taiwan..
byez..

karma..

2006-11-29T11:04:00.000+08:00

came across a nice new song..
really dig it..
especially after what happened..

Justin Timberlake - FutureSex/LoveSounds - What Goes Around.. Comes Around..

Hey girl(girl)
is he everything you wanted in a man?
You know I gave you the world(world),
You had me in the palm of your hand
So why your love went away?
I just can't seem to understand
Thought it was me and you baby...
Me and you until the end, but I guess I was wrong

[Chorus]
Don't wanna think about it, don't wanna talk about it
I'm just so sick about it, Can't believe it's ending this way
Just so confused about it, it'll end up in the news about it
I just can't do without ya, tell me it's this fair?

This is the way it's really going down
Is this how we say goodbye?
I should've known better when you came around
That you were gonna make me cry
It's breaking my heart to watch you run around
Cause I know that you're living a lie
But that's okay baby cause in time you'll find...

What goes around, goes around, goes around, comes all the way back around
What goes around, goes around, goes around, comes all the way back around
What goes around, goes around, goes around, comes all the way back around
What goes around, goes around, goes around, comes all the way back around

Yeaaaaaah

Now girl, I remember everything that you claimed
You said that you were moving on now (now)
And maybe I should do the same (maybe I should do the same)
Funny thing about that is, I was ready to give you my name
Thought it was me and you baby and now it's all just a shame
And I guess I was wrong...

[Chorus]
Don't wanna think about it, don't wanna talk about it
I'm just so sick about it, I can't believe it's ending this way
Just so confused about it, it'll end up in the news about it
I just can't do without ya, tell me is this fair?

This is the way it's really going down
Is this how we say goodbye?
I should've known better when you came around
That you were gonna make me cry
Now it's breaking my heart to watch you run around
Cause I know that you're living a lie
But that's okay baby cause in time you'll find...

What goes around, goes around, goes around, comes all the way back around
What goes around, goes around, goes around, comes all the way back around
What goes around, goes around, goes around, comes all the way back around
What goes around, goes around, goes around, comes all the way back around

Yeaaaaaah

What goes around, comes around (comes around) yeaaaaaah
What goes around, comes around (comes around) yeaaaaaah
You should've known that...
What goes around, comes around (comes around) yeaaaaaah
What goes around, comes around (comes around) yeaaaaaah
You should've known that...

Don't wanna think about it, don't wanna talk about it
I'm just so sick about it, I can't believe it's ending this way
Just so confused about it, it'll end up in the news about it
I just can't do without ya, tell me is this fair?

This is the way it's really going down
Is this how we say goodbye?
I should've known better when you came around
That you were gonna make me cry

It's breaking my heart to watch you run around
Cause I know that you're living a lie
But that's okay baby cause in time you'll find...

What goes around, goes around, goes around, comes all the way back around
What goes around, goes around, goes around, comes all the way back around
What goes around, goes around, goes around, comes all the way back around
What goes around, goes around, goes around, comes all the way back around

Yeaaaaaah

Yup, yup, yup
Let me paint this picture for you baby, yup
You spend your nights alone
And he never comes home
And every time you call 'em
All you gets a busy tone
I heard you found out what he's doing to you
What you did to me, ain't that the way it goes?
When you cheated girl, my heart bleeded girl
So it goes without saying "you left me feeling hurt"
Just a classic case, it's a sce-sce-scenario
Tale as old as time, girl you got what you deserved
And now you want somebody to cure the lonely nights
You wished you had somebody that can come and make it right
Well girl I ain't somebody and not a sympathy (see, see)

What goes around, comes back around
I thought I told ya, hey eyyy
What goes around, comes back around
I thought I told ya, hey eyyy
What goes around, comes back around
I thought I told ya, hey eyyy
What goes around, comes back around
I thought I told ya, hey eyyy
What goes around, comes back around
I thought I told ya, hey eyyy
What goes around, comes back around
I thought I told ya, hey eyyy

(Take it to 'em eyy..)
Haha..
(Take it to 'em eyy..)
(Hey, hey, hey..)
See, you should've listened to me baby
(Take it to 'em eyy..)
(Hey, hey, hey..)
(Take it to 'em eyy..)
(Hey, hey, hey..)
Because... what goes around, come back around
Haha...

hey..

2006-10-15T18:21:00.000+08:00

k this is my wat..
4th wk in sispec..
horrible week..
physically demanding..
i did the obstacle course 9 times..
thru out 4 days..
now i know wat they mean by the phrase..
SHAG CANNOT TINK..
seriously..
i was so shagged..
that when my buddies asked me ques...
i couldn't answer them properly..
damn rite..
k nvm la..
suffer now to enjoy later..
gonne be the last wk of the fastin mth soon..
got 11 days to go i tink..
not really keepin track la..
more stressed about training ah..
k..
thats for now..
cant really tink of wat to write..
cheers..

its my day..

2006-10-08T19:51:00.000+08:00

tom's my bdae..
gonna celebrate it in camp..
with my buddies..
oh well..
im still happy..
at least got some ppl to celebrate it with..
so now im 20..
dun really feel any different..
of havin a 2 instead of 1..
in front of the second digit..
whatsoever..
happy bdae to me..

can msg me n wish me if u like..
whaha..
entertain me in the army..
9365 4647..

went out to get some mags n some other stuff today..
nth much to do..
but i really needed a new knee brace..
bought one at watsons..
cost me 30 dollars..
wont mind the price..
when ur in huge amt of pain..

went home..
den received a call..
from neecole..
so met up with her..
must walk go to her condo..
my bdae n yet i had to walk up to her place..
hahaha..
wasnt far la..
only in front of my blk here..
whahhaa..
so sat down..
talk cock..
den her sis came..
her sis which was taller den her..
n younger too..
n alot more irritating than her..
hahaha...
kinda cool..
we celebrate each other bdae..
by meetin up n just sittin ard n talk cock..
we both owe each other bdae presents..
haha..
nice to see u neecole..
gd luck for ur upcoming exams..
if u wanna know wat she looks like..
just scroll down..

gotta get ready for book in soon..
till nxt wk..
cheers..

my good fren neecole..
she's not as old as she looks though..
h o t rite??
whahaha..
hugges n kisses..

arites...

2006-09-24T19:33:00.000+08:00

k..
my first wk end from sispec..
got 9 more wks ahead..
this is a day of many first..
first day im gonna book back into plc..
first day of the fastin mth..
first day of my new life..
my new life u may be wonderin??
well its the fastin mth..
n im takin this opportunity..
correct not spellin??..
k nvm..
take the chance..
to lead a new life..
n make up for the wrongs i've done..
quit bad habits..
and all that stuff..
being in sispec is also a wake up call for me..
i did so bad in bmt..
felt much more worst than i've ever felt in my life..
im gonna start fresh..
i hope..
im finally gonna be a better guy..
than wat i was before..

forgive me for wat is wrong..
accept me for wat is right..
live life to the fullest..
like its ur last..
ciaos..

okiez..

2006-09-15T11:59:00.000+08:00

been posted to sispec..
aint exactly sad..
kinda relieved..
can still try to get to ocs ma..
if really cant..
den just not meant to be la..
but wat i really want..
is to be a guards commander..
no matter a sgt or an officer..
oh well..
im just happy for now..
finally im happy again..

f*ck u b*tch!
haha..

waitin..

2006-09-12T21:24:00.000+08:00

been 1 wk since i pop..
since i pop?
since my passing out parade u sick pervert..
haha..
k im going crazy..
waitin for my postin this fri..
hopefully it turns out good..
if not..
im gonna kill myself..
literally..
was bored enough to make a new layout..
kinda cool..
but could be troublesome for others..
oh well..
wat matters is that i love it..

been spendin alot of time tinkin..
kinda sad..
horrible mood swings..
how i wish i can just erase my past..
how i wish it all din happen..
how i wish i've nvr me her in the first place..
im still hurt to this day..
haiz..
i really gotta learn to move on..
i tot i could..
but i just cant..
haiz..
hopefully someday i do..
for now..
my frens are the ones who keep me strong..
i dunno wat i do without them..

nth more for me to say..
byez..

private..

2006-09-11T12:08:00.000+08:00

finished bmt..
no more going to temptation island..
now only got torture camp..
waitin for postin..
outs this fri..
hopefully command..
block leave this whole week..
enjoyin my freedom..
clubbin..
shoppin..
movie-ing..
wedding..
climbing..
relaxing..
i wonder wats nxt for me..
in every aspect..
work..
play..
ns..
lovelife..
can wait for all of it to unfold..
oh well till nxt time..
caios..

hey ho merry yo..

2006-09-03T11:41:00.000+08:00

ok..
its wk 8 of my ns life..
finishin bmt in bout 3 days time..
been an eventful 8 wks i must say..
fired bulets..
threw explosives..
went for a fuckin long 24 km route march..
haha..
but still..
its all fun..
passing out parade this wed..
den it'll be block leave till dunno when..
n gettin my postin..
hopefully..
i get to where i want..
if i dun..
well..
as long as im not posted as a service man..
den ok ah..
i want to be in combat ah..
more fun..
weird huh..
oh well..

life's good..
definately good..
every wkend that i book out..
i'll go out n enjoy..
either its catchin a movie..
going out with frens..
or i go clubbin..
i want to watch the devil wears prada..
hopefully can catch it by nxt wkend..

went to mos bout 2 wks ago..
fuckin packed..
u cant even walk properly..
its worst than a bazaar at geylang during fastin mth..
hahaha..
serious la..
went to cube yst..
tried a new club for a change..
ok la..
the music was good..
the girls was better..
but..
alot of mats n bapuks sia..
fuckin alot i tell u..
i got bored at ard 3++..
when the stoopid dj..
played some songs twice..
so i left..
went home..
n rest for todays book in..
this gonna be my last book in to the island of hell..

been thinkin lately..
think bout the things i did..
things i've done..
n the things i wanna do..
i regret some parts..
while im happy bout some..
i can say..
i regret my most recent relationship..
for it was a disaster..
i dun want to talk bout it or anything bout that time..
just makes me feel so bad..
i have let all attchments of that period go..
coz its not worth the pain..
i regret lettin this special someone go during poly..
she was truely one of a kind..
i was so stoopid to let her go..
now i cant have her..
some of u may know who she is..
met her in yr 2..
a gorgeous malay-mix ladee..
who is dunno how many yrs my senior..
haiz..
life sure does play painful tricks on if u make careless mistakes..

like they say..
wat goes ard..
comes ard..
wat goes up..
must come down..
thats just life..
im just lookin to the future..
see wat it brings me..
but i feel a good vibe coming..
maybe i'll meet sumone new..
maybe i'll get into ocs..
hahaha
hey..
watever it is..
i tink i can manage la..

till another time..
byez..

im not missing you

been through just about everything
that i could go through when it comes to relationships
dont know what i was missing or why i aint listen
when i told myself that was it
but here i go hurt again cause
of my curiosity now that its over
what else could it be
besides a cheat

i made a promise
never to settle
why didnt i keep it
cos i needed the heart break
cryin and cheatin the fooling around

but im not missing u

im not going through emotions
waiting and a hoping u call me
im not missing u
u mighta had me open
but i must be goin because
i got lots to do
i know im usually hanging on
i used to hate to see u go
but this time its different
i dont even feel the distance
im not missing im not missing u

its a shame in a way
cos i feel that i may not
ever fine the right one for me
did i leave her this year
i didnt find a face oh
will my true love ever be
how could i go on a search again
when i know what the end will be
what good is love when it keeps on hurting me

i made a promise
never to settle
why didnt i keep it
cos i needed the heart break
cryin and cheatin the fooling around

but im not missing u

im not going through emotions
waiting and a hoping u call me
im not missing u
u mighta had me open
but i must be goin because
i got lots to do
i know im usually hanging on
i used to hate to see u go
but this time its different
i dont even feel the distance
im not missing im not missing u

im not going through emotions
waiting and a hoping u call me
im not missing u
u mighta had me open
but i must be goin because
i got lots to do
i know im usually hanging on
i used to hate to see u go
but this time its different
i dont even feel the distance
im not missing im not missing u

no i cant be with u cos
im scared felt like i was falling when u left me
i cant keep going through life
unaware of what im missing
or the person that i could be
loves good when its right
bad when its left
in ur memory all the time anytime
i guess love will be nice for someone
this is life

im not missing u

im not going through emotions
waiting and a hoping u call me
im not missing u
u mighta had me open
but i must be goin because
i got lots to do
i know im usually hanging on
i used to hate to see u go
but this time its different
i dont even feel the distance
im not missing im not missing u

im not going through emotions
waiting and a hoping u call me
u mighta had me open
but i must be goin because
this is the best day of my life
i know im usually hanging on
i used to hate to see u go
but this time its different
i dont even feel the distance
im not missing im not missing u
im not missing im not missin u
no baby im not missin u

hey ho..

2006-08-09T15:58:00.000+08:00

life as i know it..
is basically..
full of phy trg..
endurance..
n pain..

ns is ok..
quite fun sumtimes..
quite taxin..
but come to tink of it..
at least i got a nice bod..
whahah..
im still as skinny as before..
only now got muskels..
whahaha..
well..
not so much like a body builder la..
but okok la..
overall..
ns is not wat i tot it to be..
its really not that bad..

as some of u may know..
i have a few changes in my life..
other than the fact that im in the army..
if u dun know..
then thats ur prob la..
for me..
im just livin my life..
day by day in tekong..
waitin for my P.O.P.
sooner or later..
O.R.D.
den can start to acomplish my dreams..
oh well..
life goes on..
n actually im happy..
i got a bunch of great frens..
n i tink i know what i want..
so hopefully..
everything turns out well..

ciaos..

shattered..

2006-08-05T13:14:00.000+08:00

imagine ur worst nightmare..
becoming true..
haiz..
im fuckin depressed..
everythings going worng..

fuck u...

dissapointed

2006-07-21T23:36:00.000+08:00

im totally dissapointed in u la..
thats all i have to say..

my last say as a civilian..

2006-07-07T01:23:00.000+08:00

its not only my last day as a civilian...
but its also my last day as a boy..
i dun tink i'll ever be this childish n cheeky boy ever again..
haiz..
nvm la..
its all cool..

today is a super special day..
not only for me..
but for my other half too..
she left for aust at 855pm just now..
very sad huh??..
oh well..
we've been thru alot..
but no matter wat..
a goodbye is always sad..
i hope to see her as soon as she comes back..
well..
at least get to hear from her la..
so just now..
send her off at the airport..
her sec poly frens came..
family was also there..
the unexpected thing was that..
i din imagine she would cry...
i din imagine she would have cried after huggin me..
so touchin rite..
i have such a wonderful gf..
love her to bits...
k..
make this clear..
i din not cry just now!!
whahhaa..
very impt!

after she flew off..
i went to meet my frens..
the instuctors..
ppl who were there..
razi amin za utt azie jara
ok la.. not al there.. but the rest met up a few days ago.. so not bad la..
mostly all met coz my last day..
hahaha
we nice time we had together..
its not the food or the sheesha..
its the companionship that i value the most..
im gonna miss these guys loads..
haiz..

tom i must report at tekong at 10..
i hope everything turns out ok la..
shall keep u all updated..
dun worry..
to my bro n caring sis'..
i'll meet u guys on the 22nd k..
for sure one..
happy advance bdae too utt..

so for now..
here's a couple of pics which i'll definately treasure..

the girl gettin on a jet plane... loves!

not all of them are here.. but their my extended family..

the ppl who i have fun with week in n week out for the past 4 mths..
once again..
not all here la..
too many la..
haha!

wassups..

2006-06-24T12:56:00.000+08:00

wokays..
gonna update..
been a long time since i update..
whahahah...

gonna start of with the start of last wk..
the wk where..
i was down..
with stomach flu..
blardy hell..
sick like hell for 4 days sia..
vomit cough fever migranes..
can die u know..
thought of dieing too..
but thank God..
i pulled thru it..

after that had 2 events...
one at a condo..
another at east coast..
kinda fun..
but the real fun started on mon the 19th...
had a camp for kent ridge sec shc..
power i tell u..
first time i go to camp..
i need not scream or shout or punish the campers..
all behaved superbly..
but the sad part was that..
well not all la..
but most we unresponsive la..
campfire was abit toned down..
not my kind of campfire..
not really happening..
but still ok..
coz the instructors performance was off the hook..
hahaha..
like norm..
we performed our legendary dikir barat..
our own lyrics..
argh..
talkin bout this makes me sad...
coz its gonna be my last camp soon..
den i'll be in a camp for the nxt 2 yrs of my life..
gonna be a soldier..
enlisted to the army..
070706
thats the date..
where i must surrender myself..
but enuf bout me..
i wanna talk bout the camp..
the best camp i've been to..
my grp was ok la..
rohimin.. naddd... shawal..
my kids were ok.. all very co-operative..
n one of my kids..
i tink it was shawal..
blardy hell..
in the evaluation form..
said i was always very sleepy..
boss is gonna kill me..
hahaha..
nvm..
its all cool..
boss know i did my work..
hahaha..
i've got nth but praises for these kids..
but the sad thing was that their teacher..
mr koh i tink..
like to tekan them..
hahaha..
so sad..
early mrng..
3rd day..
must do pt..
haha..
kecians..
but its the only way to instill discpline..
but hey for me..
they good enuf already...
wokays..
love u guys..

then the instructors..
im gonna miss them alot..
haiz..
i dun wanna go for ns..
i wanna stay n work n do camps n meet great kids..
but the govt was to spoil my plans..
nvm..
i'll be back..
for sure..

i was blog hoppin..
den this person..
she blogged..
that its her 2 mths ani..
den its suddenly made me tink..
eh..
my ani also comin up la..
this sun..
1 yr..
with ma xinxiu..
eh xiu..
my camper say u sweet le..
happy??..
hahaha
happy 1 yr anniversary dear..
my love for u cannot be measured...
u gotta feel it for yaself..
smilex!

well thats for now..
anything just msg me ya..
man.. outz..

hey..

2006-04-16T22:47:00.000+08:00

ok..
im so tired..
just came back from work..
workin for fila now..
just tot i tried out the job..
first day was hell..
but den..
get to know the ppl..
was fun la..
alot of fun..
my job mainly sell shoes..
haha..
i like shoes..
so ok la..
we are crazy ppl..
scoldin vulgarities in front of customers..
shoutin from one end of the warehouse to another..
haha..
disturb girls..
but mainly..
its all fun..
even though the pay is crap..
but hey.. its all good..
workin again nxt wk..
from wed to sun..
got clearance sale at..
HOUGANG MALL..
xiu confirm happy if she finds out..
or maybe not la..
coz i'll ask her to come down every single day n meet me..
hahaha..
anyway..
workin for fila..
i get alot of nice stuff..
at super cheap prices..
imagine a shoe..
sellin at 149.90 at a boutique...
39.90 at the warehouse sale..
n me gettin a futher discount..
final cost of 29.00..
haha
crazy aint it..
i bought 2 shoes somore..
hahaha..
acttaully i cant wait to return to camps..
i tink camps are better..
oh well..
talkin bout camps..
ive been booked...
to enter the army..
on the seventh of the seventh..
at 10 am..
my grad coincedentally..
is on the sixth of the sixth..
haha..
cool..
ok..
till next time..
ciao..

discovery...

2006-03-13T21:43:00.000+08:00

how weird..
i just discovered..
i have a appetite..
for shopping..
i was talkin to a fren..
n i was tellin her..
i went out..
yst..
n bought..
perfume..
n some other stuffs..
i tink..
haha..
cant remember..
well anyway..
so far..
as i calculated..
since i've been with xiu..
which is comin up to 9 mths..
i've bought..
2 specs..($165)
10 tees..($300)
6 polo tees..($216)
1 jeans..($70)
she gave me a black tee and pair of espirit pants..
7th n 8th mth ani present..
so not counted la..
ok lets continue..
5 socks..($20)
4 shoes..($500)
3 bags..($250)
1 hp..($168)
1 perfume($60, tankx to a voucher, if not $79)
so total..
165+300+216+70+20+500+250+168+60
and that equals..
SGD 1749
thats alot...
and this is all that i can tink off la..
all this not including..
transport..
food..
bills..
and any other crap..
which needs the use of money..

k..
i've already used up that much..
guess wat..
i still want so more..
i want this white with gold-lining nike street soccer shoes..
n the most impt..
numero uno on my list..
sony playstation portable..
i checked out the shoe..
n it cost about $90..
i checked out PSP at the it fair yst..
with a 1 GB memory card..
n 6 free gifts..
its bout $647..
add them up..
that approx..
SGD 750
add that to my currect expenditure value..
1689+750
equals..
SGD 2349
n this is me..
a boy who doesnt like to spend money that much..
well..
not really that little la..
but i really control my wallet..
i wonder how bout other kids..
the easiest ans would be..
rich kids born in rich families..
or..
their just pampered..
or..
they just dont value..
how hard it is to earn money..

as much as i spend..
at least 80% of it..
came from my salary..
started with workin at..
airport..
den d'marquee..
n last but not least..
Fitness Innovation Team..
F.I.T.
with them..
i tink i've earned as much as..
SGD 1200 so far..
well..
its a good job..
and if i cant find a better job..
im gonna be a full-timer..
maybe..
BIG maybe..
need lots of tinkin on that part though..

oh well..
for now..
im just gonne work..
when they call me..
get money..
save a bit..
the rest..
buy watever i see is nice..
either for me..
or for her..
so..
thats all for now..
unless u have a keen interest..
in wat other ppl do with their money..
which is totally sick n is an invasion of privacy..
i have nth else to say..
see ya all next time..
same time..
same place..
ok..
say good bye instructor..
good bye..

im back...

2006-03-11T15:34:00.000+08:00

hey ppl..
last time i update..
was 2 mths plus ago..
so long..
in that 2 mths..
i did my exams..
started my vacation..
started work..
go for holidays..
gotten results..
hahahah..
so long..

ok..
exams over..
long long time ago..
2 wks ago..
so yst the result was posted by msg..
i was in the bloody boat abck to singapore..
read the msg..
unknowingly that its my results..
see 2 c's n 2 d's..
but the most impt part is the last line..
which said grad..
i've grad from poly..
a free bird..
whahahah..

k i've started work again..
camp instructor la..
went to bintan the past 3 days..
a camp for admiralty sec sch..
well..
even though in bintan..
where the sea is strong n powerful..
the night full of stars n super windy..
the kids were the same...
hahaha..
angered me on day1..
understand me on day2..
loved on by day3..
it was great la..
quite happening..
all i know.. this is a holiday cum work..
hahahaha..
im gonna go again..
so cheap..
maybe..
in a few wks time...

im still tired from that camp..
but its worth it la..
din really thought they'll like me...
hahha..
im the tekan(punishment) king over there..
but they still like me..
got some take pics.. alot actually..
got some cry..
a girl from my grp..
but i dun tink she's crying for me..
for the my partner la..
tired is an understatement la..
yst in the train back..
i fell asleep..
all the way till pasir ris..
hahaha...
so tired till like that..
1st time sia..

so thats for now..
gonna update later..
when i dun have anything to do..
now..
i wanna rest..
byez..

heyx..

2006-01-30T17:13:00.000+08:00

life is really complicated..
it can be up for a while..
den it can nose-dived the other end..
in a matter of a few seconds at that too..
haiz..
life sure is hard..
everybody want to be at the top all the time..
but we all know that that is impossible..
but we when ur are down..
the magnitude..
the degree of out sadness varies..
it can be small..
it can also be gigantic..
how i wish im havin a small package rite now..
i dunno if its just me..
but it seems that..
the factors which constantly cause me to be unlike myself..
are always the same..
they hurt everytime they come up..
its really does hurt..
to hurt is a pain..
which last longer if not healed..
how can 1 be able to hold on..
if he is totally deep in displeasure..
life is full of displeasures..
its also full of pleasures..
i want my pleasures to come back..
pls my displeasures..
leave me for a while..
i've been beaten far from wat i can take..
pls..

hello

2006-01-27T11:37:00.000+08:00

schs coming to an end..
literally..
im graduating this march..
finally..
theres 8 days left in sch...
nxt wk got 2 days holiday somore..
den study wk..
must study hard2..
i dun want to be in sch anymore..
wanna work..
get money..
buy myself n some other ppl some things..
24 of feb will be my last official day in sch..
if no supp paper la..
hahaha..
i got 4 papers this sems..
2 papers on 2 days..
really hell..
last sem of poly life n they give me the worst daily timetable n exam timetable..
oh well..
wont complain..
just gonna go along with it..
i cant wait to smell the air of freedom..
i hope i dun fail..

to her..
u already done 1 extra yr..
pls clear this yr..
den u can grad..
den u want to go to uni ah??
try lo..
the sad thing is that ur gonna leave spore..
i dun like it..
but if its for ur future..
den do what u have to do k..
gd luck..

gd luck to everybody..
im made so many wonderful frens thruout poly..
i met sumbody who fill up the hole in me too..
poly was gd overall..
a couple of bad memories..
but they get overshadowed by all the gd memories...
ok..
it almost 12..
i wanna get ready..
i got to go for my prayers..
my gf may be chinese..
but im still a muslim..
haha..
n im workin later..
i wanna hang out with my old frens..
we got a 4 day holiday..
hopefully we can meet aite..
cya..

ha ha

2006-01-12T19:58:00.000+08:00

graciously happy..

pain & rain..

2006-01-02T19:09:00.000+08:00

hmm..
i need sumone rite now..
my ego has been hit badly..
it hurts so much..
i've nvr been hit this bad..
sumbody pls help me..
pls..

*drop*
it was going to rain..
u told me wat u meant by it..
i said ok..
i asked for comfort..
i begged for it..
n yet sumhow..
u got angry..
it started raining..

i know we've been fightin..
we fight..
but to improve ourselves..
us..
i din expect such a thing..
im sorry to hurt u this past wk..
but today..
my ego was squashed..
its as painful..
as wat happened last sun..

i hope u understand how im feelin rite now..
it takes alot to rain this bad..
nvr rained this bad..
for anyone or anything..

but..
no matter wat..
im sorry..
truly..

ques of this topic.. wat did i do wrong??.. ans me pls..

tom is a sch day..

2006-01-02T16:05:00.000+08:00

ok.. today is mon..
i had plans today..
was gonna do things with my buddies..
but another plan came up..
n i cancelled my plan with my buddies..
I CANCELLED..
i really cancelled..
but sadly..
the new plan..
din happen..
fuckin irritating..
waste of my time..
now stuck a home..
my buddies plan..
they cancelled coz i wasn't going..
n very lil ppl..
haiz
sacrifices..

these are the consequences of givin my all..
consequences..
when they're really supposed to be..
returns of a good kind..

lesson learnt..

happy new year to u..

2006-01-01T03:32:00.000+08:00

all the times that I've cried..
all this wasted it's all inside..
and i feel all this pain..
Stuffed it down it's back again..
and i lie here in bed..
all alone i can't mend..
and i feel tomorrow will be okay..

my new yr resolution has to be amended..

two thoudsand and five

2005-12-27T23:59:00.000+08:00

the yr's comin to an end
im gonna be like those ppl..
who talk bout the yr..
in contrast to their life..
hahah..

two thousand and five..
nice number..
nice yr..
started on being single..
the yr i discovered more stuff bout me..
the yr that i did better in my studies than in any other yrs..
the yr i n my nephew grew closer..
the yr two new ppl were introduced into my family..
one in feb and another nine mths later..
the yr i met sumone special..
sumone so beautiful..
i have to see her everyday..
the yr i had a big fight on a very impt date..
the yr where its almost impossible for me to not smile in a day..
the yr that i really find is more enjoyable..
the yr filled full with great momories..
memories of my family..
memories of my fren..
memories of my special one..
the memories will keep growing..
till the next yr to come..
in the next yr..
i want my family to be as they are..
i want my frens to be happy n enjoy their time..
i want my special one to be happy with me..
i want her to smile everyday..
i want her to see that shes the one in my heart..
i want her to see that she's the one in my eyes..
i want her to see that she's the one who i need to see everyday..
i want her to see me..
i just want her..
two thousand and five..
nice yr..
hopefully..
two thousand and six will be better..

ehhh...

2005-12-26T18:33:00.000+08:00

im so stooopid..
she n me ok already..
n i had to open my mouth n piss her off..
im such a big asshole..
im so fuckin stoopid..
y must i always hurt her...
so so stoopid..

hmm..

2005-12-25T12:06:00.000+08:00

today's a day i've been longin to arrive..
a day which i been waitin for so long..
a day which i just cant wait to get to..
a day where ppl share christmas joy..
but im not talkin bout christmas..
im talkin bout a day..
that is marked down in every mth..
a special date..
to recollect what has happened..
to reflect on where we are..
to rethink the future..
to decide where to take it from now..
sadly..
its not what i imagine it to be..
im sadden by it..
how i wish it could be avoided..
how i wish things were diff..
how i wish things just were easier..
hey not all wishes come true..
true..
but could be avoided..
hence makin things easier..
im gonna keep it low..
ride things out..
see wat happens..
wat happens happens..
see what fate has in store for me next..
be it good or bad..
im gonna take it or fight it..
this is my life..
its not wat it was before..
im grateful for it..
keepin it together..
been tryin to make it better..
try as i might..
i need help..
not from a big group of ppl..
just one person..
that one person..
pls..
do it..
do what u know i want to be done..
all that is need to be done is simple..
to be in love..
u need to receive love..
to receive love..
u need to give love..
to say that u wont commit..
den ur not ready to be in love..
i know we're better than this
i know u're better than this..
i know u can do it..
u can..
how i know??..
coz i just..
i just know u can..
so..
lets make it work..

princess oh princess... where have u gone to??.. come back a while.. much talk is wat we gots to do..

mistake

2005-12-25T01:47:00.000+08:00

of all the days..
to make me feel so so bad..
today was already bad enough..
tom is gonna be worst yet..
tom the day..
which had been marked early in the calender..
a day of joy n laughter..
turns out to be a day of sad n anger..
addiction of affection..
may lead to poor emotion..
a package for terrible weather..
a recepie for disaster..
but cant it be seen beforehand..
emotions spread over the table..
aint it obvoius..
expected more of u..
to know after what has happen..
my reaction..
ur reaction..
teaches u..
to do what needs to be done..
when to do it..
is another question..
its a no-brainer..
need neither skills nor certificate..
just doing it for the sake of doing it..
for the other person..
for the satisfaction of makin sumone feel good..
whats wrong with that..
not askin much..
just askin enough..
no matter how its done..
can be done this way..
can be dont that way..
just as long as the outcome remains the same..
without subtraction..
cannot be made to wait for too long..
time may run out..
decide the path to take..
the right path will give u tons of happiness ..
the wrong path leaves u in a heap of sadness..
choose wisely..

hey..

2005-12-24T20:29:00.000+08:00

i got a new template..
took a long time for me to build it..
i spent my whole sat today just finalizing it..
hope it turns out nice on ur comp..
coz it runs out greaat on mine..
haha
new comp so i can action..
anyway..
the font actually is curly wurly kind..
if u all dun have it..
it'll come out s times new roman..
if u cant see the curly wurly font..
pls tag n tell me..
i'll change the font la..
coz i know that times new roman is ugly..
haha..
thats all for now..
n I GOT A NEW FONE..
D500C..
ahhaha...
i love it..
i got baby(my big orange crumpler bag)..
i got darling(d500c)..
i got sayang(who??.. just look above.. haha)..
i want my babe(creative zen)..
hahaha
ok..
bye for now..

ordinary people

2005-12-18T20:10:00.000+08:00

Girl im in love with you
This ain't the honeymoon
Past the infatuation phase
Right in the thick of love
At times we get sick of love
It seems like we argue everyday

I know i misbehaved
And you made your mistakes
And we both got room left to grow
And though love sometimes hurts
I still put you first
And we'll make this thing work
But I think we should take it slow

We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow

This ain't a movie no
No fairy tale conclusion ya'll
It gets more confusing everyday
Sometimes it's heaven sent
We head back to hell again
We kiss and we make up on the way

I hang up you call
We rise and we fall
And we feel just like walking away
But as our love advances
We take second chances
Though it's not a fantasy
I Still want you to stay

We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow

Take it slow
Maybe we'll live and learn
Maybe we'll crash and burn
Maybe you'll stay, maybe you'll leave,
maybe you'll return
Maybe you'll never find
Maybe we won't survive
But maybe we'll grow
You never know baby youuuu and I

We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Heyyy)
We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow

hmm..

2005-12-11T15:12:00.000+08:00

just wanna discuss sumthing..

the difference between guys n girls is that guys make girls their whole world.. but girls make guys a world apart from the other worlds..

wat im tryin to say is.. guys will combined the gf into all aspect of his world.. frens.. family.. fun.. play.. everything imaginable.. girls however.. will just have another world to add to her collection of worlds.. such as frens world.. family world.. shopping world.. ok maybe jus add a lil parts of the bf to the diff worlds.. but mostly.. the bf is a world apart.. literally...

some may agree.. some may not.. some have similar but indifferent thoughts on this.. im just sayin this just because i feel im being held in this situation.. just that.. thats how im seein this.. she doesnt want to lose her frens.. well who wants??.. so to not have such a thing happen.. the balance need to be there.. driftness will surely happened.. but no such thing as no more of such frens.. yes i drifted away from my frens too.. i realise it.. but to me.. its like.. i have to withdraw some effort put into my frens to be able to put in alot of effort in my gf.. its a big risk.. but im willin to take the risk so that my gf wont feel unattended by me.. i know of some ppl who will surely say that im not as close like i used to be.. but hey.. we gotta do wat we feel is right.. n i feel this is.. hopefully u get wat i mean in this.. n i dun mean to get u mad or anything.. if i wanted to piss u off.. it would have been easier than this.. i'll just have to scream at u.. ok?? thats for now..

man.. outs..

haiz..

2005-12-09T11:11:00.000+08:00

im abit tired ah.. work yst.. the napfa test instructor.. ok ah the job.. but i dun like it when the ppl takin the test just dunno how to listen.. so irritating.. just ask to follow simple command also cannot..haiyah.. nvm la.. today working again.. new batch of ppl.. hopefully.. i wont do shuttle run agaian.. or go the the 2.4km run mid-point AGAIN.. wahlau.. 2 days at the job.. n give me the same work.. so boring.. n yst i was in charge of warm up.. n in change of placin the correct ppl along the 2.4 route.. den after 2.4.. got tabulation.. that one more tedious.. with the ppl takin the tests crowing ard us hopin to get their paper done n leave.. cannot wait ah??.. so idiotic..

so today another day.. woke up at 830 for 900 class.. arrive in sch at 915.. class/sch end ed at 930.. slacked at design.. den when home.. talk to her..

haiz.. life is hard.. espiecially with stubborn ppl.. argh!!.. can die sia.. talk also wont listen.. if talk nvr listen.. surely will be angry.. n when angry.. must talk nicely.. cannot be fierce.. wahlau.. ur 20 going to 21 n ur actin as a kid.. u may find it ok ah.. but tink of other ppl ah.. its very irritating n frustrating.. hopefully.. whatever i said do go into that thick head of urs.. i talk nicely rite just now??.. nvr raise my voice.. n finally.. pls dare to take a risk.. thats how u learn when to do what and how to do it.. n sorry bout slammin the fone.. thats just irritation... i want u to be happy.. but if ur makin me feel like so.. how can u expect me to make u happy.. revenge will surely come out.. ok..

anyway.. karma sucks.. its havin its revenge on me.. n i dun like it one bit..

will update soon.. out..

hey..

2005-12-07T13:32:00.000+08:00

in sch lib.. studying.. see gd boy.. term test 2 wks time.. actually just want to free my mind from the rest of the world n enter my ending world of electronics studies.. haiz.. alot runnin thru my head.. dunno where to start.. dunno wat to do.. i got probs.. n i dunno how to solve them.. y is life so hard.. i just want to be me.. be the me that i usually am.. im not me anymore.. i've changed.. some say some guys enter relationships.. n change.. is its happening to me.. haiz.. maybe xiu is changing me.. into wat also i dunno.. but im really stressed... i got sch.. work.. family.. all probs dunno sumhow stuck in my head.. short term.. i wanna pass term test n main exmas.. i know along the way gonna have a few roadbumps.. n i really dunno if they'll affect my concentration.. i want to heve an easy end to my poly days.. long term.. i hope i can resolve whatever shit that is happening rite now.. i tink i've been postponin it too long.. n now its takin its toll.. i need a breather..

breath..
breather...

a breather till im ok.. see ya all..

ah.. it feels better to say things out.. rather than keepin it in..

i tink im gonna update alot this few days/wks..

i just wanna lay my tots out..

n it feels good..

bye...

"sumtimes u gotta analyze ur investments n see if it'll turn out good before u make make ur downpayment.. if not.. u're gonna lose big time.."

allo...

2005-12-05T22:05:00.000+08:00

hey..
been a long time..
hmm..
dunno if alot has changed..
still schling like normal...
still in *hearts*...
hehe..
still improvin my climb..
this is quiz wk..
got.. hmm..
3 quizzes this wk..
had one today.. another two tmr..
then wed free.. can rest...
gonna climb tom i tink..
not sure..
must confirm with "maam"..
my fierce maam..
so fierce..
so mean..
must *piak her..
haha..
ok
*piak me..
but seriously..
maam..
sumtimes i feel we dun communicate..
i told u already rite..
so now i blog bout it..
haha..
i got nth better to do..
but i know..
that u know..
wat i know..
haha..
k..
shall stop crappin..

p.s. to princess aini.. where have u been??.. are u lost in the woods or sumthing.. can msg me or sumthing..

Bye...

ello..

2005-11-21T09:59:00.000+08:00

im in sch.. i have a class.. but im not going for class.. i just dun feel like going for lecs.. its so early in the mrng.. n yet.. some frens have told me i look wiltered today.. im just tired ah.. tiredness comin form last wk at sch.. tired of going visitin on sat.. tiredness from going out yst.. tiredness of tinkin.. tiredness of makin myself super busy.. im just not in the mood..

to u: hmm.. well.. i dunno wat to say bout yst.. i just felt different.. coz i just feel we are not going anywhere with this prob.. well maybe got improvement from the first time.. but its still not that big of an improvement.. i read ur blog today.. n i just got 1 ques to ask u.. y din u tell me the whole story??.. y din u tell me??.. if u told me.. i tink there would be a difference.. ?? u din tell me coz i was like a zombie talkin on the fone last nite??.. or coz u tot it was no difference??.. well if u told it would change the story abit would it??.. haiz.. i wanna see u today.. hopefully.. i'll get to see u..

blind

2005-11-20T20:13:00.000+08:00

after all this time
I never thought we'd be here
never thought we'd be here
when my love for you was blind
but I couldn't make you see it
couldn't make you see it
that I loved you more than you'll ever know
a part of me dies if I let you go

I would fall asleep
only in hopes of dreaming
that everything would be like is was before
but nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting
they disappear as reality is crashing to the floor

after all this time
would you ever wanna leave it
maybe you could not believe it
that my love for you was blind
but I couldn't make you see it
couldn't make you see it

that I loved you more than you will ever know
a part of me died when I let you go
and I loved you more than you'll ever know
a part of me dies when I let you go

so long..

2005-11-15T22:37:00.000+08:00

so long nvr update.. alot things happened.. sch started.. went walk2 go ppl homes to collect money.. sound like a loanshark.. but im not.. sis just gave birth to a baby girl.. very cute.. so small n tiny.. if got pic i upload.. some relatives say she looks like the uncle.. my sis is terrified.. dun worry.. she wont be like me..

went walk2 with my sec sch frens.. my gd old frens.. been a long since i went out with them.. met their moms.. eat their food.. drank their drinks.. collect their money.. n left.. proceedin to the nxt home..

sch sucks.. my timetable sucks.. all the subj very hard n complected.. last sem was 1 very hard subj.. this sem got 4 very hard subjs.. im gonna die.. sumbody who's good pls help me!! i wanna pass n graduate..

sumtimes.. diff things are understooded diff.. therefore.. u must make them clear.. how u want it be understooded..

ello

2005-11-02T11:46:00.000+08:00

haiz.. been a tiring few days.. alot of cleanin.. house looks ok.. room look ok.. so ok ah.. its all gonna be dirty again by the time i start sch though.. im really using my rest now.. just relaxin.. online.. watch tv.. ahhhhh.. its nice.. just need one more thing one.. ;) haha..

tom hari raya.. the celebration after a mth of fastin.. to all muslims.. selamat hari raya.... yst was depavali.. to all depavali-celebrators.. happy depavali.. to all the rest.. enjoy ur holidays.. more comin up also..

hmm... i see abit of cracks already.. i dunno wats going on anymore.. its really not the same as before.. i've been busy.. but i din neglect anything.. did i??.. wats going on??

my life..

2005-10-29T23:54:00.000+08:00

i really hate it..
when u feel..
finally in life..
there's sumthing perfect..
sumthing not gonna go wrong..
n yet sumday..
its hits u hard..
on the back of ur head..
haiz..
i hate that feelin..
i cant run away from me..
my fate..
my destiny..
i gotta take it..
i gotta change it..
either i change it..
or i change myself..
but i dun wanna change..
im happy with me..
who i've been these yrs..
how i wish..
life'll be more simpler on me..
not havin probs..
like these..
havin probs..
which i can take on..
which i can settle..
i hate my life..

wat do i do??..

fix you..

2005-10-29T15:12:00.000+08:00

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
could it be worse?

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down on your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I

Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

i wonder..

2005-10-26T13:13:00.000+08:00

i screwed up big time.. i deserve it.. i got nuthing to say.. 8(

2005-10-25T17:10:00.000+08:00

A TRIBUTE TO HER..

allo..

2005-10-21T18:10:00.000+08:00

so wats new.. hmm.. well.. climbing still the same.. hmm.. been shopping alot.. went shopping yst n today.. yst went with her.. she wanted to get levi's jeans... i already bought my jeans.. levi's 508 relaxed straight ft for 60 bucks.. wat a bargain.. hahaha... she wanted to get jeans.. the day before yst.. me n joop were her "jeans-advisor".. hahaha... she did buy them yst.. i bought a white top from levi's too.. very nice.. but size S ah.. hahaha.. hopefully can wear a few gd times before i cant fit in it anymore.. i already bought a white top from far east.. den today went to beach rd n golden mile with a sec sch fren.. i only bought 1 black top.. hahaha.. kinda pathetic huh??.. well im savin my money.. need to buy a watch.. costin between $129-$169.. n nike street soccer shoes.. hahaha.. $70++.. den i'll be happy.. hahah.. no need shop for a long time.. maybe not that long ah.. still got my rock shoe.. mad rock shark.. the red one.. $148.. hahaha...

she poor thing.. today had to rot at home.. these kind of days cannot run away from them.. poor thing.. alalalal.. hahaha... tom my turn to rot.. no plans.. haiz.. till nxt wk i guess.. gonna go shopping again.. get my watch n my shoes.. haha.. maybe a pair of slippers too.. hahahaa.. ok till nxt time.. byez...

haiz..

2005-10-19T13:11:00.000+08:00

i dun feel quite like my self today.. feel sumthing's wrong.. or going to be wrong... haiz.. im so stressed.. it made me sick.. was sick yst nite.. fastin mth seems to be the mth that i always get sick.. alot of things crowding up my mind.. but i cant tink of any of it.. just a big blur.. i cant free my mind.. its takin its toll on me.. sumbody help me?.. sumbody??.. pls??..

this is xiu...

2005-10-17T15:33:00.000+08:00

hello.. hes in the lib right now lying on my shoulder. he say he lazy to blog so i blog for him. hahaha!! he is a lazy ass@!!!! LAZYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! EH! WHAT U DOING! DONT BITE ME!!!!!

OK..BYE.. SHAHHAHA!!!

hey..

2005-10-12T15:00:00.000+08:00

went out with her yst.. A GREAT bdae celebrations.. had dinner at breeks.. den went for dessert at the choco bar at esplanade.. woo the choc there is heavenly... a must try.. romantic settings n everything.. haha.. she gave me a crumpler side bag as a present.. so sweet.. been wantin that bag since ages... hahah.. well now in sch.. with her.. she's not feeling well.. poor thing.. n im leavin in 30 mins time.. too bad sayang... haha...

milestone 19..

2005-10-09T11:48:00.000+08:00

my 19 bdae today.. not much of a celebration.. coz of fastin mth.. but still ok i guess.. kinda sad cant celebrate with her today.. have to wait till tues.. i miss her.. she's in kl.. a family wedding.. oh well.. to all those who wished me a happy bdae.. tankx aite.. really appreciate it..

wow

2005-10-06T22:00:00.000+08:00

forget the old post.. she's amazin.. tankx for being so sweet... love you...

allo

2005-10-01T13:51:00.000+08:00

went out with her yst.. great time.. went to queensway.. ikea.. esplanade.. heeren.. raffles city.. walk mostly.. haha.. still want to get that pendant.. i love spendin time with her.. the wk coming to an end.. another boring wk.. nxt wk is also another boring wk.. fastin mth startin on tues.. hopefully not like last yr.. where i was sick for the whole 1st wk.. she's not gonne be in spore nxt wkend.. so no her for my bdae.. so sad.. anyway.. got medical check up coming up.. thats the only thing that i have on my schedules nxt wk.. haiz.. its a boring cycle.. i shall update again soon.. c ya ppl..

she

2005-09-29T14:06:00.000+08:00

the sweetest ever..
the cleverest..
the smartest..
the brightest..
the loveliest..
the greatest when dealin with my heart..

the only to make me feel so good..
the only that blows me away..
the only that give me that warm fuzzy feelin..
the only one who can make me laugh n cry at the same time..
the only one..
the one i love..

her..

song title: her

2005-09-26T14:06:00.000+08:00

sorry bout the angklet...

her
oh she's blazin
amazin all gazin
the way that shes playin the game
studied the ways and made it
thru the maze and the haze
shes played it

never see nobody so perfect
livin life without regret
livin at speed
close to a jet
livin addict
never to forget
of what i get
days of her smiles and laughter
keepin it cool
just to satisfy her

look in her eyes
and she'll melt ya
need to have her
not just for say
but to keep her
to keep n to hold
thru the days of the cold
till the days of the old
im just being bold
wat can i say
nuthing to stop me
what is felt
its all in me
all these because

i love her...

dreaming of you..

2005-09-24T18:52:00.000+08:00

"Wonder if you ever see me..
and I wonder if you..
know I'm there (am I there??)..
if you looked in my eyes..
would you see what's inside..
would you even care..

I just wanna hold you close..
but so far all I have are dreams of you..
so I wait for the day..
and the courage to say..
how much I love you.."

i dream of u every night..

yes..

2005-09-23T11:43:00.000+08:00

results are out.. n i passed all.. including the microwave subject.. haha.. wat a big turn-around-come-back.. haha.. so happy

hey..

2005-09-22T20:49:00.000+08:00

havin a great time... this wk has really been great.. started climbing again.. went swimping.. haha.. tanning..!! haha.. abit of window shopping.. chalet-ing.. bbqing.. havin a great time with my bum bum.. haha.. sorry k... dun want this to end.. the wk n us i mean... tmr maybe climbing at climbasia.. with her also.. haha.. dun know wat else to add.. just wish she's by my side rite now.. =) *muacks*

aw...

2005-09-17T20:45:00.000+08:00

she did sumthing out of the ordinary today...
so sweet of her...
she made me feel the way i did the first time we got together..
i love her..

"i dont wanna go on livin in this world without u.."

this..

2005-09-13T10:57:00.000+08:00

i feel terrible for the things i said... u werent here.. n i had some hard times.. the words i said were all running inside my mind.. n i needed sumwhere to say it all out.. this was the only place i could think off... i dunno if u misunderstood me.. or i was just being my impulsive self.. u may think that im thinkin of myself.. n not of u.. but i do.. i really do.. i think bout the both of us.. how far we've went with each other.. i had to keep myself pre-occupied coz.. the only thing i was thinkin off.. was u.. really lost for cause here.. i dunno wat to do.. one way of seeing this is that.. that all was 2 days ago.. n today's a new day.. diff days diff thoughts.. rite now im thinkin of u.. n i cant stop thinkin of u.. cant wait to see u...

american pie at climbasia!!

2005-09-12T12:20:00.000+08:00

went out with the boys yst... me white li joop amad muhd n fie... went to climb.. climbasia of coz.. zafir was there with his gf.. den fredo was there too.. stupid guy din know he was in the same train as me... nvm him la... arrive super early.. so climb downstairs... did the endurance route... knn.. now i cant do 6c+.. i really slack sia... haha.. climb 6a 1st pitch.. den 6b 2nd pitch.. den go 6c+ 3rd pitch.. few tiles already drop... so went back to the start of the 6c+/end of the 6b.. so move backwards to the start of 6a... can do all this.. but cannot do 6c+... so sad...

so climbed alone till are 415.. den the guys arrive... so started doing routes.. i love this route that joop gave.. had to use this giant of a sloper... hahaha.. but i just use the sloper to stabilize myself ah... din load on it.. ahahha.. shiok ah that route!!

den fie suggested watch movie.. american pie.. got dvd ma.. so ok lo.. watch.. ended up.. only me watchin... ahahahha.. watching alone... laughin my ass off alone... hahaha.. im used to this alone shit.. hahha... great movie.. i wanna watch the rest of the series... actually i watch the part 1 already.. but forgot what happened.. so watch again.. haha

movie over.. went down.. see wat the boys doing.. dyno route.. what else.. joined them... hahaha.. i can fly.. no longer the "static" self.. hahaha.. aku dynamic.. aku tau.. dulu aku kental.. jgn marah... hahahaha.. but fie really warns me not to go for it.. he see me dyno he scared... hahaha.. he dislocated his shoulder before.. so he dun want us to have the same fate as him.. hahaha... so climbed like monkeys.. dyno.. jump here.. jump there... till we all got tired... fie went home first..

hit to showers.. while waitin for the shower.. the amad plays with the kitten.. poor thing sia.. late at night gets disturbed.. hahahaha.... the kitten so cute.. but dunno y.. i carry him.. he clawed my skin.. blardy pain sia... so all showered... went to the coffeeshop.. they bought drinks.. i bought.. suji.. i dunno wat that is in english.. but i love it.. shortbread or biscuit ah?? i dunno la... i like.. den went home.. me n muhd only going toward the east on the smrt.. joop white li n amad takin nel to hougang to take 89??.. reached home at ard 1145??.. dunno.. din keep track of time.. all i know.. 12 got summerslam... so watch all the way.. till 230.. den fell asleep.. missed the hulk hogan n shawn micheals fight... icon vs legend.. nvm ah.. at least gotta watch batista beat the hell out of JBL.. hahaha... so slept at ard 340.. now im awake.. n my elder sis is here.. so gonna make her stay today at my home.. very irritating.. hahaha "evil laugh".. this is a long post... 8)

"its not that i dun love u anymore.. i do.. n i dun want to lose u.. but there's just something thats blockin that love.. covering that part of me.."

misses

2005-09-10T16:36:00.000+08:00

for the wrong reasons..
at the wrong time..
why now why not later..
why not before..
why not after..
why not during..why??
why not at times when u know u shouldnt do it yet u do..
why at times which are at totally unappropriate timings.. why??
why only when u think bout it..
why why??
why not when.. or who.. what.. where.. how..
yet its still a why...

why??..

"i wanna break it into a thousand pieces.. yet i aint got the guts to do it.. love overpowers my anger.."

now.. write that down..

try..

2005-09-09T12:26:00.000+08:00

sumtimes in life.. u just have to try harder.. try with all ur heart.. givin the prob ur best shot.. this way both parties eventually get what they want.. or maybe.. u have already gotten what u want.. n the other party wants what they feel is correctly theirs in return.. its all about compromising.. to try to achieve what other ppl want.. n gettin what u want in return... the biggest prob in this thing is that U just dont want to try hard.. in ur mind ur already tinkin that it impossible.. that u cant possibly do the things which are supposed to be done.. n yet u want whatever that u have requested... this is totally not compromising.. can u just try for once?? be it for a small prob or a big one.. try to fulfill a person's request.. especially when that person has already given u whatever u wanted.. think bout it.. n think whether.. have u given the other party whatever that is correctly theirs in return..

argh...

2005-09-08T20:07:00.000+08:00

i made a stupid mistake in hesitating...
damn...
man.. y r u so stupid??
argh!!

im sorry!!

im such a jerk.. period!!

okiez..

2005-09-07T10:46:00.000+08:00

wah so stressed.. exams gonna be over.. 1 paper left... just did software engineering.. last ques killer ques.. anyhow answer... hopefully i'll pass this subject based on my result of the quiz n term test n lab test and this exam.. i aint got no proj.. was bastardize.. wont talk bout it.. so now left with microwave tech... this one.. either i pass or supp... i want to pass...

later gonna climb... afta the microwave paper... gonna go to climbasia... been a long time since i stepped into that place... release all the frustration.. yah!!! hahaha

"without honesty.. there's very little trust.."

heard that sumwhere... write that down.. haha..

allo

2005-09-02T22:32:00.000+08:00

this study wk is ending.. next wk.. on mon i got a paper.. another 2 on wed.. haiz.. i still dont understand mvwave... argh!! well other than that.. everything else is ok... i really understand the other 2 subjects... just got home from studyin at the lib... ok la.. sit n study from 2 sumthing.. all the way till 645.. took some pics along the way.. laugh2.. hahaha.. the faris 'semboh' ice lemon tea all on me.. hahaha.. that was a funny incident.. semboh is like srpaying using the mouth like that... at 645.. started playin UNO.. hahahaa.. stress relieve... all the way till 8.. hahaha.. great times..

xiu went to climbasia today.. been a long time since i climb.. hahaha.. shoe also got hole.. i want a new shoe... but must work ah.. i also want to buy jack percel.. is that how u spell it??.. haha.. or the new orange total 90 III... i want a new shoe... 2 shoes to be exact...

celebrated teachers day a few days ago.. went down to bnss... ok la.. the show quite crappy.. but i had fun laughin at them.. ahhahaa... applaud them for their courage.. met some old teachers.. some were gone.. either went to another sch or retired...

haiz.. so tired.. cant wait for the holidays.. can start workin.. can go out with the fatty fatty bum bum... hahaha.. can go out with aini.. alot of things i gotta do... i miss my workin mates.. i want to work.. get money.. hahaha

to xiu.. ok i update already.. so dont say my blog boring.. u tink i got nuthing better to do ah.. modi blog only... hahaa

to princess... eh we go pizza hut ah.. eat CALAMARI!!! hahaha...

someone finds salvation in everyone
and another only fame
someone tries to hide themself
down inside their selfish brain
someone swears his true love
untill the end of time
another runs away
is everyone united?
or is everyone insane?

be urself is all that u can do..

allo

2005-08-26T22:38:00.000+08:00

im missing her rite now.. so boring at home.. shes out with her frens havin dinner n stuff... supposed to be studyin.. but i just not in the mood... have not started.. exams in 2 wks time.. better start soon.. hopefully tom.. will start already.. if not.. its gonne be bad... i really miss her.. even though i just saw her yst.. pathetic?? no i just miss her.. hopefully will see her soon.. dun like not seein her for too long.. i also miss my best fren.. the irritatin princess.. i shall meet up with u one day... den can go eat CALAMARI!!! haiz.. boring.. k ending this post... byez..

ok

2005-08-19T23:29:00.000+08:00

theres this slight pain in my chest here.. if ur wondering wat it is.. let me give u a hint.. either im fcukin mad or im fcukin jealous or both.. go figure.. even i myself dunno wat it is... didnt tink bout this did ya??.. u may not have know it.. coz i didnt say a thing bout it then.. n for ur info.. it really really hurts..

princess aini.. where you??.. i need to talk to u... appear??... appear!!...

allo

2005-08-12T21:45:00.000+08:00

ok... last post was on monday.. so today... i shall update.. coz i aint got anything better to do... to tink of it.. things have been going well..

i went to classes for only 2 days this wk.. on mon had norm classes... but i skipped a lec at 11 so that i would have a 5-hr break.. from 10 am all the way to 3 pm... class ended at 5.. went home.. tired ma..

den tues was a holiday.. had a very "good" day to say... shall elaborate later..

den wed.. had my mp proj judging.. i din attend the mrng classes coz i was terribly sick.. the wisdom tooth on the left side of the lower jaw was coming out from the gums n it wanted my whole body attention... had high fever n migranes.. swelling from the outside of my left ear down to the end of the left side of my throat.. cant open my mouth.. cant talk.. eat.. anything which had to use my mouth.. was a big no-no..

met xiu b4 rock.. she kept laughin lookin at my condition.. however.. the "CURE" did work.. haha.. but it stop workin till the time came for me to leave the rock gym.. how funny..

went to the dentist that nite.. my biggest nightmare is seeing a dentist if ya'll din know.. i just hate visiting them for a check up... scares the shit out of me... eventually was my turn.. n he cut the gum that was restrictin the growth of the tooth.. hurt abit.. but.. luckily.. n i mean LUCKILY.. i din scream... if i did.. that would have greatly terrify the ppl in the waitin room.. after so.. asked for that day's mc.. n fortunately got thurs mc also.. so 2 day's leave...

thurs nvr go sch.. slacked at home.. was on msn the whole day i tink... chat with xx n aini.. did nuthing much.. since i cant eat n everything... was very hungry.. cravin for solid food.. knn.. drink milk, yougart, oats.. i've become so healthy...

todays friday.. condition abit better.. but it still hurts when i walk... i cant jerk it that much... still cant eat proper solid food... n i made mash potatoes today.. hahaha.. i've become a housewife... hahaa.. so thats friday.. nuthing much.. tom maybe go dinner with saad they all.. see if i cant eat or not.. if not.. i dun want to leave my home.. the fact that it still hurts really is sickening.. when will it go away???

hmm.. tues... well.. to keep it short.. coz this entry is already very long.. talked things out.. everythings ok.. just that i still got alot more to do.. i am going to try.. n i love u to bits..

pls??

2005-08-08T09:40:00.000+08:00

wats going on?? wats the prob?? wats the cause?? y suddenly this happen?? wats the matter!! can go crazy bout this thing.. either its paranoia or its really happening... its all crumbling... into bits n pieces... everythings going to waste if nuthing is done.. but wat is the to be done when u dont know wats the real prob.. this shouldnt be the end after such a wonderful beginning... just after a beginning.. how can it be the end?? pls.. say sumthing.. anything.. so as this imagination of the end will go away... theres so many ques.. but all it takes is just 1 answer.. pls let that answer be the answer that would be the savior.. the justification that all of these is actually paranoia.. nuthing but the imagination of a worked up brain.. pls..

waddup

2005-08-05T23:15:00.000+08:00

i got a new skin.. so nice... hahaha although alot i edit from the original one... n i want to change the backgrd pic... so enjoy my unoriginal piece of blogskin...

hey...

2005-07-14T22:25:00.000+08:00

hey..

term test's over.. i pass 2 and failed 1.. for sure... stoopid microwv paper... haiyah.. must buck up for exams... term break been crazy... climb crazy.. report crazy... this crazy.. that crazy....

came back to climbing afta almost 5 wks... climb like shit... expected to ah... but still ok ah.. fariz improved so much.. so good already... can beat me in doing a route... can be the next champ??!! hahahaha... eh if u trained hard.. sure can one... it doesnt take much to win.. just have the right mind.. the correct attitude.. n u surely will... gd luck to ya...

reports done... welll not up to my standards... but hey.. its still considered good for last min work... got touch ups to do tmr... submission is at 12... 2 wks overdue...

cant wait for sch to start nxt wk.. really lookin forward to endin this sem.. climbin/fastin/hari raya den start nxt sem... quickly get it over with.. den can graduated...

yst nite.. abit crazy.. emo-wise... everything seemed to crumble... i feel lost.. like i lost 2 worlds which i really love... felt alone... been a long time since i felt like that... lets say... about 12 wks ago... if u clever u understand... haiz.. hopes it blows over soon... this definately sucks...

i hate certain aspect of my life.. love some rite now... but y.. must all bad things come at the same time... argh!!! too much things on my mind... im... -speechless-

hey..

2005-07-03T13:52:00.000+08:00

hey..

term test comin up nxt wk... got 3 papers... 1st one on tues.. software eng... 930 am.. 2nd n 3rd paper on thurs... cktcs at 930.. microwave at 1230.... hope i can study today... sis at my place.. very noisy... gd luck to everybody.. pass ah.. better not fail...

life's been great... got no major probs other than my mp report... submittion date next fri... term break gonna be bz.. hopefully things will go smoothly...

maad is going into ns this fri.. gd luck my fren... ur kaopeiness shall be missed... other than that.. i have nuthing to say...

hmm.. if lets say that bad day comes.. i dont tink it would be a big prob ah... just gonna try make it better lor... that i promise k... bubyez...

allo allo...

2005-06-25T11:13:00.000+08:00

allo allo...

the dawn is breaking.. a light shining through.. u're barely waking.. and i tangled up in u.. yeah.. i'm open, u're closed.. where i follow, u'll go.. i worry i won't see ur face.. light up again.. even the best fall down sometimes.. even the wrong words seem to rhyme.. out of the doubt that fills my mind.. i somehow find.. u and i collide..

its been a big tiring wk.. learnt alot.. nxt wk gonna be crazy.. i hope i can handle it...

hey...

2005-06-16T13:58:00.000+08:00

hey...

i tink i found out wats wrong... its issint sumthing.. its sumone.. specifically... me... been taking a few things hard.. makin wrong decisions... sorry to anybody if i cause u any probs.. coz i know i have... hopefully i'll get over this soon... fcuked up life...

allo...

2005-06-15T11:16:00.000+08:00

alloo..

been a long time huh.. lots has happen... gd n bad... made it into rockmania final.. too bad im injured... could be pullin out from the finals... i pulled the tendon or nerve at my left wrist... i really dunno wat to do... coz it really hurts.. hopefully by this wkend.. it doesnt hurt that much.. so at least i can climb on sun...

things are going great other than the fact that im injured.. im quite happy with wats going on ard me.. sch work quite ok rite now... at least i understand wat is taught in the lec tut n labs...

but still.. i feel as if sumthing is wrong ah.. i dunno wat it is coz i love wats going on rite now.. nuthing bothering me.. but theres just sumthing that doesnt feel rite... could be my imagination though.. haiz.. if only...

if only..
if only..
if only..
if only..
if only..
if only i could say wat i want to say.. hear wat i want to hear... see wat i want to see... if only...

if only...

alllo all...

2005-05-29T11:55:00.000+08:00

allo all....

fri n yst had the rockclimbing clinic... a poor turnout.. but still we continued... got some ppl who can climb.. mainly coz they climbed b4... but got some.. freshies.. who got the interest.. wonder if they got the passion.. thats wat we really want... had a great day yst... climb well.. SLEPT well... hahahha... had a sleeping session in the rock gym from 3 to 445 like that... left sch ard 530.. the girls wanted to go to campers to buy new rock shoes... the train ride to city hall.. hahahha.. very noisy sia.. i tink the whole cabin was lookin at us sia... hahahhaa.. arrive at the shop.. haiyah my feet so big... got no size... stooopid... my shoes already got hole... argh!!!! i sayang my shoe alot... i tink liz n nad bought mugen while rufi n laji(lajam) bought hooker zip... now i wondering wat to buy.. i dun want to buy the same shoe as them.. later the whole team all same shoe sia... all sponsored by mad rock... hahaha... afta that we bought dinner at long john n kfc... all takeaway.. ate at the open area in front of esplanade... got white fariz li liz nad rufi joop xx n me... all sat down and eat... den the crappin session began... dunno why n how.. lord shiva came about... hahahahah... laugh like crazy lil idiots.... sat there till a little afta ten den made our way home... the funny thing is... at city hall station.. white liz n xx all take the other train heading north... me li nad n fariz took the train heading east.. as we waited for the train.. the bfc guys n saad came.. hahahaha.. like all at one time... so all took the train.. long time nvr see saad.. when want to go jogging again??.. u tink go once can slim ah???.. hahahaha... arrived home close to 12... slept afta unpackin n washin up..

overall.. a great day.. wonder if all sats could be like this... den my final yr will definately be great.. tpsc also now have a dance n a cheer.. all tankx to wak boon ides n cannon.. hahaha... chaoz...

La unica cosa a la cual el deseo sabe es como usted se siente. Porque estoy tan en amor con usted. so wat will it be ma??

allo..

2005-05-13T15:33:00.000+08:00

allo..

well things didn't go as i hoped it would.. seems to me that i went nose-diving into the abyss.. crashed n burned.. even though i seem happy outside.. inside.. it was like everything was breaking down.. well cant blame her.. we're both from diff worlds... just aint gonna happen.. i had too many things on my mind to even sleep yst nite.. now i still have those tots.. ok looks like i gotta forget everything.. n just live with it.. all the arkwardness... i hope.. the outcome will be better than this the next time around...

arite...

2005-05-12T16:45:00.000+08:00

arite...

today is the day.. today is the day where i shall bear it all.. today is the day that i shall say whatever there is to say... for better or for worst... today is the day where there shall be no turning back... its the point of no return.. im gonna tell her today.. it might be good.. it might be bad.. everything seems to be going well today... kinda cloudy.. just how im feeling rite now.. im clouded by the emotions running thru me rite now... ok.. im scared.. well issint any guy scared before he exposes his feeling to a gerl.. being accepted or being rejected.. which will it be... i tink this post is not gonna last long.. if i do tell today.. den maybe by tomoro this post maybe gone.. either i write a new post or just delete this post.. im writing this post becoz i need sumwhere to pen down my thoughts.. how i feel.. i really am into this gerl... yet i dunno wat the outcome is.. everything may go perfect now.. but when crunch time comes in.. thats all that matters..

watever the outcome.. i want u to know that i really am into u.. maybe be wrong but.. im willing to take this risk for u... if it turns out gd.. den great.. if not.. i hope we can still be gd frens as we are rite now... watever it is.. im here for u...

hey...

2005-05-09T16:22:00.000+08:00

hey...

i tink i really fallin for this girl.. her names is.. ok lets call her mXsquare... hahaha... if u all clever den u'll know wat it means ah... i dunno wat to do... ok just gonna take 1 day at a time... theres currently 2 other ppl who are in the same situation as i am rite now.. all of which a my gd frens.. orite ppl.. we gonna chill n just see wat happens aite...

had the farewell party last thurs.. had a really great time... everybody dressed up for the occasion.. ppl who didn't know wat to wear came looking as if they had planned wat to where for a very long time.. white bro looked like a cuban drug kingpin... bro chey-t look like a latin mafia.. amadmayat came as a hokkien gangsta.. wak came as a nigga with cornrows all over... yantinggi came as if he represented the yakuza.. black looked as if he really was a mafia... everybody looked great.. guys n girls alike... gonna miss the seniors.. they made the team wat it is today... the freshies.. i hope.. can live up to their standards of havin fun.. n climbing well...

ok gonna end this post on a bad note.. got a message to 2 ppl...
to No. 1.. if u treat me like fucking shit... im gonna treat u like the fucking bitch that u are...
to No. 2... wat the fuck i do to make u treat me like this?? i dont need dumbass.. i got other frens who accept me for who i am bitch...

wassup...

2005-04-27T16:43:00.000+08:00

wassup...

Have you even been touched like I touch ya?
Been held like I hold ya?
Been loved like I love ya?
Be real, be real
Have you ever been seen like I see you?
Been heard how I hear you?
Been felt how I feel you?
Be real, be real...

heard that from a song.. really dig the meanin... haiz.. i got a major prob.. dunno wat to do.. need sumone to talk to... n xiu.. i need a massage.. when u coming back??!!!

waddup.,..

2005-04-25T16:27:00.000+08:00

waddup...

wat a great weekend.. spent time with my sis n her husband.. my sec sch frens n also my rock frens...

slept at my sis place on fri nite.. coz we were going to watch guess who on sat mrng.. damn funny movie sia.. hahha... den went to climbasia.. climbed to my hearts content.. great day to spent the day indoors.. coz it was fcukin hot outside... i tink i climbed well that day.. everybody was in good moods too.. n got this chick.. damn.. too bad she got bf sia.. even bobin like her sia.. yeah.. hahaha... at the end of the day.. XIU came.. long time nvr see har.. ahhaha.. spent the night at the padang... just sat there talkin n eatin... great way to end a great day... the moon was almost full that night.. we had a clear view of it.. so nice... ahahah...

played soccer with my sec sch frens... been a long time since i spent time with them.. had a couple of good games.. by 930.. all were tired.. sat down.. talk bout absolutely anything under the full moon.. talk bout moments during our sec sch days... well.. i was the one who gets laugh at as usual... hahhaa.. but its all good... i love spending time with my frens...

im quite confused bout sumthing that happened on sat nite.. wont say wat i did.. or who was with me.. but.. im really confused...

hey...

2005-04-15T16:21:00.000+08:00

hey..

got some pics here.. dyno pics...

ello..

2005-04-06T15:07:00.000+08:00

ello...

im inside my lab for the first time in 4 wks.. hahaha.. been a long time since i step in to this place... ok alot has happen since boulderactive.. got tpsc sentosa trip.. got climbasia trip.. got jobhunting days.. ok.. lets start with sentosa...

went to sentosa last wed.. supposed to meet at harbourfront station at 10.. i arrive 1030.. hahaha.. purposely ah.. coz i know some ppl surely not yet arrive yet... asaad said 10 at the station.. but she arrive late.. when i reach the station n nyssa called her.. she just left her home sia.. if her home at harbourfront ok ah.. but at tamp sia.. hahaha ok.. so went to buy things first... den went to the beach..

got some chicks ah that day... okok ah.. hahahaha... got this german guy doing flips.. me n fazli joined him..he damn good sia.. n he said he trained for fun somore... left him for lunch... hungry mah.. saad arrive with sufi gayboy.. she cooked spagetti goreng.. sedap!... nad cooked nasi goreng... sedap also.. rufi brought along chicken curry.. sedap also.. wah all go beach.. cook all sedap2 sia.. hahahaha... den went swimming... played in the water till about 4/5.. dunno the time ah.. lazy to check at that moment.. den had a frisbee game.. an intensive game... played 3 set.. lost the first one.. won the second one.. n the tiebreaker one.. hahahaah.. once a CHAMP.. always a CHAMP.. ahhahaha.. kidding... washed up afta that... walked out from siloso beach at 8 i tink... went to harbourfront food court.. den went home.. reach home at 10.. great day..

went to climbasia on sun.. with white.. i was paying mah.. haha.. with my $40 voucher.. alot ppl sia.. but ok ah.. i climb with powerhouses who are 1 yr older than me... foo.. they all scary shit sia... but since i wanted to improve my self.. had to train with them.. to be the best.. u must train like the best.. so just do any routes they set.. went home at 8..

been job hunting these past 2 days.. but to no avail.. well must try harder lor...

today gonna climb.. i tink today alot of ppl comin.. oh well.. dun care just climb ah.. i miss my frens.. long time nvr see them.. ok.. i dunno wat to say anymore... ok byez...

** oh i just remember.. i saw PrincessAini yst.. at tm.. she was with ammar.. long time nvr talk to her.. i stand behind her for so long.. yet nvr notice me there.. wols.. hahaha... talk to ya soon princx~... 8)